My Art Book and Randomness

Soooo.... Im crushed.... ;-;

So a good friend of mine..... Is no longer a friend of mine..... She found better friends and now I'm just a faded memory........

Do you understand what I just wrote?

Let me rephrase it in a poem if you didn't-

"I was her friend. She found a better friend. Now we are not friends. She forgot about me. I remember her. I tried to call her. She won't answer my phone calls or text. Now I'm alone and full of regret.

Maybe she got busy? But I just checked. I looked at one of her accounts ((Not on wattpad)) and she forgot I was her friend. I sent her text, she hasn't responded in a while.

What did I do to make her walk miles away from me? Was I clingy or too insecure? Did I push her away? I don't know what I did, to lose a good and maybe my best friend.

I tried to be happy when she left, held my head high. Not wanting to feel regret. I'm sorry if I was literally too mean or if I did something wrong.

I'm always the friend who's alone and forgotten after a while. I'm used to it, but not this time. I cracked under pressure and had a breakdown. I wanted to yell and scream for her to come back, but I can't.

Because I'm drowning and she can't hear my words. She was one of the few who understood me, only 4 of them ever could. Everyone else thought I was a monster, a criminal who robbed them of their happiness. I didn't look like one, but my spirit did.

Now I'll just sit here and fade. I'll remember all of our happy times, and memories. I'll always remember how we would glance at each other and instantly knew what each other was thinking. We would laugh at the stupidest stuff and when needed cried together peacefully.

We were best friends at one time, but now your gone. My heart is shattered and I'm alone. I'll be waiting for an apology note, but I know I'll never get one. It's happy thoughts that make me cringe. It makes me nauseous when I remember the good times, because I know it'll never happen again.

And if you ever read this, I want to say. I enjoyed your company when it was available. It always made me smile. If you ever need another friend I'm always available. I'm sorry for all my stupidity and other stuff. Whatever made you left, or if I wasn't good enough. I'm very sorry.

But this is what happens when friends fade. One is torn apart and the other is never to be named. It will never hurt more when people say, "Hey we're is (F/N)!?" I always reply, "With better people then me."

But I'm always happy whenever my sky turns grey. It's because I was always the happy friend, who tried not to show my dark rain cloud. I tried to hide the obvious with lies and a smile. A fake laugh that died after a while. A happy soul that was full of emotional and fiscal scars.

You were my best friend, and always will be in my heart."

~Brianna R.