No Love

The News

After a long pause over the phone came the soft voice of my mother "Hello Isabelle how are you" amongst all of the things my mother has said to me over the phone or could have said, those were the last words I expected to hear. Now don't get me wrong  my mother is a sweet and caring woman when she wants to be. She has just never been that way with me.

My mother and I have always been set apart by many, many... MANY differences, one of those being my ambition to gain my own self respect and money in this world. While in my mothers mind that is a male's mind set and I should stop living in a 'fantasy' world. So I most definitely have not gotten a simple hello from my mother since I decided to abandon the family and start a global empire, simply because I am a woman. Apparently I was made um... how do I put it eloquently Ah... I know 'to be the tree which bears the fruit, for man. Quietly subdued to the whims of nature' yes so... lay back get pregnant, pop out ten babies per year, while cleaning, cooking and looking pretty doing it.

Not knowing how to respond to my mother at first I decided to return the courtesy "I am doing quite well how are you?" after another pause she sighed over the phone and as soon as I heard that I knew what was about to befall me was not in any way going to be good. "Isabelle you need to come home" she said lowly this struck me, because after seven years of not speaking or calling, my shock at her words was unmistakable. Anyone who knew my mother as I do would know how great she is at holding her tongue and keeping grudges. "Please elaborate mother why do I need to come home"?

she sighed with aggravation on the other end of the phone and at that moment I knew that the pleasantries were expired and my real mother was about to rear her ugly head. So pulled my faithful Italian leather desk chair my way and took a seat. God knows i'm probably gonna need it. "Isabelle Jeanie Larkins I am your mother if I tell you to come home then you come home do you understand me? pulling my phone from my ear I rolled out my neck, after placing the phone  back to ear I couldn't help but feel curious. For the past six years my mother has not one day picked up the phone to call and see if I was simply alive. But now, here she is on the phone declaring that she is my mother and therefore I must obey her request, something is most definitely wrong.

"Mother what happened? do you need money? Are you and dad okay?" I asked because there was  no other feasible reason that my over exerted mind could conjure up at this very late hour; but there being either a financial problem that either my mum or dad can not find their way out of themselves, or somebody was either unwell or dead.

My mother sniffled on the other side of the line and then she said in a meek and tired voice "It's your  father Izzy, he is in the hospital. He fell down at work from a stroke and I don't know what to do... please " she sniffled "Please come home we need you right now" My head was reeling from this information how could my father have a stroke he is as fit as an Ox. At least he was, until I left. My relationship with my mother is rocky but my relationship with my father is on a completely different spectrum of difficult. 

We were so close when I was younger there was nothing that I did without my father, I am his only child after all. Once I started senior year of high school I started wanting things that in my fathers eyes were blasphemous. For I Isabelle was Samson Jay Larkins' only child and a girl at that. So by tradition and propriety I should be the picturesque embodiment of very 1960's how's wife, beautiful, meek, mild and most importantly unambitious. Which is the exact opposite of who I am as strong black woman.   

It was very difficult for my father to see me as independent and strong because he most definitely didn't consider me a woman. That was where all of our problems stemmed. He wanted me to be his little girl forever. Wanted to control my life every aspect of it. even went as far as trying to marry me off to one of his friend's sons as if we were back in the eighteenth century, and I just couldn't take it. Our relationship just seemed to spiral and deteriorate into nothing after that. Since then my father vowed to not utter a vowel to me again until in his words not mine 'I relinquish my silly ideals and become the woman he thought I would be". Which may I say was pure and utter bullshit if you ask me.

"I know it's been years Isabelle but he asked to see you and I'm afraid for him, please come for at least a week maybe that will help his recovery, please" or it may just worsen it. standing up and collecting my bag from my desk I made my decision. i was never one to drag the inevitable out. I'll see my father and make sure is okay for a few days and be back within the week just in time for the take over of Welsh INC. "Mother I'll be there in a few days, I just have to tie some loose ends here and i should be there by the 19th" which coincidentally my birthday. "Alright Isabelle see you then". The call abruptly ended just like that, nothing surprising really. 

After pulling the phone from my ear and placing it in my bag. I was met with silence. A resounding emphasise on how bad this situation truly was. I have not been back to my hime town in years. This situation is going to be very problematic. But I can't change anything now i have a week and a half to prepare myself, I hope this decision doesn't come back to bite me in the ass. 

I'm back and I aim to start updating this story again ;)

please stick with me on this journey!

thanks for reading 

Gummy.