I Didn't Mean for This to Happen

Something, Anything

Idina POV

I'm laying here in this hospital bed. I don't know what's going on. All they told me was that I was in a hospital and in a car crash. There's also some guy sleeping in a chair next to me. He seemed very surprised at the fact that I didn't know him. He looked horrible. His hair was a mess, he had bags on his eyes and he'd probably been sleeping in those clothes for days.

I just laid there and watched him, trying to figure out who he was or who he could be.

I finally decided to try and wake him. Oh, what was his name? J-Josh? Or was it Ja-James? Yes, I think it was that. James.

"Hey..." I whispered. "James?"

He popped his head up rather quick and squinted, trying to adjust to the light.

"Hey you. How are you feeling?" He asked.

He seemed overly concerned for me and started reaching for my hand, but pulled back before I could. It's like he knew not to do that.

"I'm ok. I feel a lot better than yesterday." I said.

He was staring down at my hand. It was like he was fighting the urge to touch it or touch anything.

"James, who are you?" I asked, very cautiously.

I could see that hurt him. He put his head down in his hands and rubbed his eyes.

"I'm your...boyfriend... I guess. I mean we never established that, but we both knew it." He said as a smile escaped his face.

My boyfriend? I was trying really hard to remember, but I can't. How could I know that was true?

"How do I know you're not just telling me this?" I asked.

"I wouldn't lie to you, Dee. I love you."

Love? This is crazy. How could this man I don't know love me. I keep forgetting that I have no memory of this. So, his girlfriend, the woman he loves, doesn't remember him. What do I say to that? It hurt my chest to even think just a little bit about that feeling.

I reached for his hand and he looked up at me. He grabbed it back and I saw a tear fall down his cheek. He wiped it away and tried to give me a smile, that only looked worse.

"It's ok. I'm sorry...I don't remember you. I'm sorry you have to go through this."

He looked up and I think he noticed the tears sinking down my face.

"Dee, please don't cry. I'm trying really hard not to." He said.

He really looked like he wanted to just let it all out.

"Can I have a hug?" I asked. I knew he wanted something, anything.

He got up from his chair and before I knew it, he had me in a tight embrace. I felt his hands tracing my back and a little sob escape his throat.

We stayed that way for a while, for so long that when I opened my eyes, the windows were filled with darkness and street lights reflected off of them.