Louis looked up at me through teary eyes, then quickly looked away. I felt myself stop breathing. My heart dropped to my stomach. I cannot believe what I just heard. My best friend, in the entire world, thinking about killing himself. My face grew red hot and I felt tears beginning to spill over my bottom lashes. I quickly wiped them away.
"Give me your wrists." I demanded. Louis didn't refuse. He put his hands, wrists up, toward me. I slid his long sleeves back only about 2 inches before I saw pink scars. I bit my lip and pushed them up further. I shook my head, holding back tears.
"Louis..." I touched his scars gently. "Why?" I barely squeaked out. "Is this why you've been wearing long sleeves every day?" I asked quietly. I saw Louis nod his head slightly. His eyes were pressed closed. I wiped a tear off my cheek. I bent down and kissed his forearms.
"Louis, I love you more than I love myself. You mean more to me than the world. You can't be doing this." I was on the verge of letting myself break down into tears.
"I know..." Louis avoided my eyes. "I didn't want you finding out. I thought I could stop...but...people kept talking...and..." He couldn't continue on. He let go of his tears and sobbed. I wrapped my arms around his neck and let him cry onto my shoulder. I noticed his breathing get extremely shallow.
"Louis, you can tell me anything. Please don't try and hide this stuff from me." I felt him nod on my should.
"I'm. So. Sorry." Louis coughed out between sobs. I rubbed my hand up and down his back and buried my face into his neck. I placed a light kiss on the base of his neck.
"It's okay. I love you, Louis." I whispered into his skin. Louis pulled me tight against him. I sat there with Louis' arms around me and mine around him for what seemed like an eternity. I let him cry everything out. Let him mumble whatever he need to into my hair. He told me how sorry he was. How he wishes he could take it back. When his breathing returned to a more normal pace I pulled away from him slightly so I could look at his face.
His cheeks were right red, his eyes the same color and puffy. Tears were still sliding down his cheeks. I have him a small smile and planted a long kiss on his cheek. I wiped away tears from under his eyes with my thumbs and pushed the hair back from his face.
"It's okay." I smiled at Louis. "I'll get you through this, I promise." I kissed Louis forehead and set mine against it.
"Thank you..." Louis whispered.
"You probably don't feel up for cooking do you?" I asked sweetly. Louis shook his head.
"Not really. What about you?"
"Not really." I laughed slightly. "Maybe we should just order out." Louis laughed a little at my comment and nodded.
"Sounds easier." He cooed. I got off of Louis' lap and walked to his door. I cleared my throat, trying to get rid of my scratchy crying voice.
"Hey guys." I called. "Lou isn't feeling very well and he says he doesn't want to cook. I'm not going to cool without him so you can just order pizza or something." There was a small pause.
"Are you sure?" I heard Zayn call up the stairs.
"Yeah." I answered quickly.
"Well, alright..." Zayn called a little quieter. "We'll call you down when it gets here."
"Okay." I shut Louis' door behind me. And walked over to his bed. I sat down beside him, wrapped my arms around his waist and rested my head on his shoulder. Louis put his arms around my shoulders and pulled me closer to him. I felt him place his cheek on my head.
"Will you stay with me tonight?" Louis asked quietly.
"Yes. Of course." I didn't think twice about answering. "I was going to anyway." I closed my eyes and listened to Louis gentle breathing, and slowly drifted of to sleep in the arms of my best friend.
