Love, War, and Androids

part thirteen: o' woe is her

Kianko was having problems of her own. She was trapped in a cell, fed gruel, and worst of all, the guard would not stop starring at her.

So Kianko decided to do something about the silence.

"So," she started,"How long have you been working for Mr. Death?"

The guard blinked. Prisoners don't usually talk to their captors except for witty banter.

"Want to know a secret?" He asked.

Then without waiting for her to respond, he said,"I technically won't work for him until another day and one half!"

Kianko shook her head, looking as the supposedly scary guard was rolling on the floor, subdued by his idiotic joke that really had no pun.

"Uh..." Kianko said,"hello?... Um... it wasn't that funny,"

The guard looked up and then frowned.

"No I suppose not. But it is all the excitement we get around here," he said frowning even deeper,"Is there anything else that I can help you with or laugh at you for?" The guard almost rolled over in laughter again, but decided to keep his dignity. After all, she was kind of cute.

Kianko missed the sarcasm.

"Well, this food is gruel. An-" she started.

"That's not only gruel, that's our best gruel," the guard interrupted.

"Well, my mattress has springs coming out of it that are stabbing me in the bottom," she said.

"But..." the guard said while scratching his head,"that's our best mattress,"

Kianko thought she should have seen that coming.

"Well then," Kianko said,"can I convince you to buy a new one? I can go to the store with you, and pick it out," And escape.

The guard began once again to roll on the ground with laughter.

"Give you a better... hahahahahahahaha! Oh that's priceless," the guard said, then he composed himself,"No,"

Kianko rolled her eyes.

Well, it was worth a try.