Love, War, and Androids

part sixteen: the "funky cool dance party button"

Ms. Bubbles, if you remember, is the cat. You know the one that attacked me. Well, apparently, Captain Daniels held the cat prisoner.

I bribed the cat a couple of hundred pounds of catnip and he decided that he wanted to help us break into a certain tower.

Catnip always works. Always.

Anyway, Ms. Bubbles was at this time currently prowling to the nearest window. He slipped into the window of the nearest latrine. Then he heard a knock on the door.

"Hello?" Came the voice from outside the door. "Is anyone there? Hello? I am entering the restroom!"

"Oh, now isn't this a lovely cup of tea," the British cat said as he slinked off under the sink and closed the doors.

A rather drunk Android meandered into the restroom, bursting open the door and heading straight for the toilet.

"Bbbbleeeeechhh!" He said as he lost several ounces of a fine vintage of diesel fuel down the commode. "Oh thank you, God for toilets!"

Then he rubbed the toilet seat.

"Yeah, this toilet and me have gone through a lot together,"

Then as he was wiping his mouth with his sleeve, he suddenly had another urge to have a second go around with the toilet.

"Bbbbbbblllleeeeechhh!" He said.

Without going into any detail, let's just say he tossed a couple of sprockets in his time in the restroom.

Completely unaware of the British cat that was currently sitting under the sink trapped as it were, being forced to listen to this rather disturbing event.

He will need a couple of hours of therapy before this is said and done.

After what seemed to take hours, and three drunken Androids later, Ms. Bubbles was able to get out of the bathroom.

The first thing that Ms. Bubbles did was kiss the ground.

The second thing Ms. Bubbles did was call me on Tin Man's cell.

"Hello?" I said.

"You owe me three hundred for what I've just gone through," he said.

Then he hung up.

Then, after shaking his head to get rid of the memory of drunken Androids and toilets, he looked at a map. While he was looking a couple more Androids ran for the restroom. Ms. Bubbles was glad he was out of there.

When he found the room that he wanted, for some strange reason it was marked as "THE ROOM THAT IS APPARENTLY NONE OF YOUR BUISNESS IF YOU DO NOT ALREADY KNOW WHAT IT IS,"

Ms. Bubbles crawled along the ceiling to get to the room that was apparently none of his business.

The guard had left the door open. Ms. Bubbles could venture to guess why when he saw a couple of dozen litters of diesel scattered around. Ms. Bubbles got into the room and locked himself in.

He looked at the controls and had to fight the urge to press the button that tempted him by saying, "FUNKY DANCE PARTY BUTTON". So instead, he turned off the radar and then unexpectedly got a cell phone call.

"Hello?" He said while answering the phone.

"No!" He said as he dropped the cell between his paws.

"Barking cell phone! Are you still there? Hello?" He said as he finally got the phone back to his ear.

"What took you so long?" My voice said over the cell.