Luckier than an Irish on St. Patrick's Day

Rude First Meetings

Chapter 2: Rude First Meetings

“ Shh, you’ll wake up the neighbours,” Said the man. I stood petrified in my place.

     The male, man, whatever, stood up, and walked to me. He had white skin, with blond hair, vibrant green eyes, and a slim but muscular body. He looked of 21 or 24; he was sporting a white t-shirt over a blue, long-sleeved one, some black, ripped jeans with chains, and black Chuck Taylors.

“ Well, I don’t think I introduced myself properly, seeing you are traumatized. So, hallo, my name’s Cameron and I’m Luck Agent 255. I was assigned to you, and a wonderful job I’ve been doing… if I do say so myself,” Said the man, now Cameron.

     I staggered a few steps back, still clutching my chest. Yes, I know, that was a retarded move. BUT you would have done the same if you had lived all of your life in solitude, with the company of 6 cats. And you also would’ve done it if you had never listened to actual speech before. Ok, that was an exaggeration. I have listened to actual speech… but that was a long time ago.

“ Hmm? Alright, fine! You don’t necessarily need to say your name nor anything, Ariel, since I already know them. Just thought you’d want to socialize!” Said Cameron, rubbing the back of his neck.

“ Um… I-I’m s-sorry. Just am not… used to talking…” I said. Cameron walked over to me and looked at me. Pfft, did I say look? He towered over me! He was tall! And he was eyeing me with this expression. And those eyes… I just can’t describe! Or won’t dare to describe…

“ Not used to talking, eh? You have 6 cats and you’re not used to talking?” He asked, looking at me like some sort of demon or something. I was scared, seriously.

Meow

     I glanced at behind Cameron. Sure, I had 6 cats. So what? Even if I do say something, they’ll just keep on with their lives. Its not as if they would talk or something.

“ What? Mouse got your tongue?” Cameron asked.

“ Um….ah… Okay, look, I’m very sorry I’m not so talk active! But consider yourself in my position! Years of isolation and finally, a person just appears on my bed, and claims to be a ‘luck’ agent! And then he just starts staring at you like some sort of demon! What am I supposed to feel, much less say!?!” I said. Or screamed…

“ That’s more like it! I’ll make sure you’ll be screaming at the end of this!” Said Cameron. I took steps back, and grabbed the knife that was on the table behind me, without him noticing.

“ At the end of what?” I asked. Cameron moved closer to me.

“ Mmm, can’t tell. Dunno. But I do know of the knife you’re grabbing,” He said, licking his lips. Or at least I hoped he had not noticed the knife.

     I looked at him, and he looked at me. I glared at him, and quickly perforated his stomach with the knife. He stumbled backwards, his head to the ground. Good, this is going to be over soon.

“ Gah! Fuck…” He gasped. He fell to his knees, and moved his hands to the blade protruding out of his stomach. I stumbled backwards, the light missing my

eyes.

“ You ought to try better,” He whispered. I blinked, and looked down.

     Suddenly, he stood up, as if nothing. He threw the blade to the side, as if it was a toy. It landed on front of a cat, and it screeched, and ran away. He stretched, the hole I was expecting to see on his stomach was not there. Fuck.

“ Well, you have suicidal tendencies and psycho tendencies. You’re the most interesting human I have ever gotten,” He said. His expression changed to a smirk as he walked over to me again. He bent over a bit, and grabbed my chin.

“ And a horrible one at that. Seriously, couldn’t I get one of those slutty blonde chicks that walk around like Barbie dolls? ME, Cameron, Luck Agent 225! With this… abomination. Chief, you have got to be kidding me. He even tried to kill me!” He suddenly said, while straightening and looking up, turning his back to me.

“ Well I’m sorry for not being a perfect, slutty blonde chick! But if you think I’m soooooo horrible, why did you stop me from committing suicide!? And just 30 seconds ago, before my attempt at murder, you were making suggestive moves!” I asked. Cameron turned his head to look at me.

“ 30 seconds ago, I thought you were female,” Said Cameron.

“ And how do you know I’m not one? And why were you singing that tune earlier?” I asked.

“ To tell you the truth, you don’t have a nice chest. Its flat. And I was trying to go through the normal routine of “ I sing lovely, have sex with me!” but obviously, that did not work. And I thought you were FEMALE! You’re male! Ew, just ew!” Said Cameron.

“ What are you trying to accomplish!?!” I asked.

“ Huh?” He asked.

“ So you just came here to insult my existence? You prevented me from committing suicide, so that one day, you would get a chance to insult me?” I asked.

“ Basically, yes,” He said.

“ That’s all?” I asked.

“ Hmm… Yeap,” He said.

“ You thought I was good enough for sex, and suddenly, I’m horrifying?” I ask.

“ Yes,” He said.

“ Okay…” I said. I walked over to the window, and opened it. The curtains started moving as an initial draft of air flowed right it.

“ What are you trying to do?” Asked Cameron.

“ What does it look like?” I whispered, and threw myself out an 8th floor window.

---Cameron’s POV---

     Seriously, I thought he was just opening the window for the air to come in. Ugh…not another suicidal attempt…

    I sighed, and walked over to the window. I looked down, and before he touched the floor, a man got on his way. I made sure the man was fat enough to cushion his fall. Who else was going to clean up the mess?

“ FUCK! WHAT THE FUCK IS YOR PROBLEM!?! I GET ISOLATED, AND THEN, INSULTED AT! WHAT KIND OF SICK JOKE IS THIS!?!” I heard his voice nice and clear over here on the 8th floor. I chuckled; he’s too fun to tease. Of course… I won’t let him in on my real feelings…

     I threw myself out of the window, and out of my back sprouted a set of glossy, white wings. I didn’t flap them, and started to descend down gently. I hate doing this. I probably look like one of those fag angels. Well, I landed right besides the fat man, now with a severe concussion. Damn, he looked like a pig… Not that I have anything against over weight people ( I once was over weight too…), but this one wasn’t over weight, he was A PIG. Like how Chihiro’s parents turned moments before while eating the Spirit’s food in the movie ‘Spirited Away’!

“ Well that looks comfy,” I said to Ariel.

“ Arse, you’re an arse,” He said, his face all mad and stuff. He tried getting out of the fat man, but failed. I smiled, and extended my hand. He glared at me, and pushed it aside. I frowned, maybe I was too of myself on the first meeting. Fuck, I hate leveling down the awesomeness.

“ Oh, calm down. I was only joking,” I said.

“ I noticed,” He growled as straightened himself. He looked at the hot, blonde girls passing by and then at me.

“ I guess its better having someone to talk than 6 cats,” He said. I looked around, and noticed no one had noticed the fat man on the floor, nor my awesome big and white feathery wings. Fuck, I hate this world already.

“ Cheer up. Its not going to be any better if you wear a frown all the time. It sickens me,” I said.

“ I just tried to suicide myself,”

This is going to be hard.

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(A/N): I don’t mean to insult anyone. I have over weight friends and I’m alright with it! This is just Cameron’s thinking. And this is a BoyxBoy story, so obviously I support homosexuality.