2X04 Deny, Deny, Deny

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  The key to surviving a surgical internship is denial. We deny we're tired, we deny that we're scared, we deny how badly we want to succeed. And most importantly, we deny that we're in denial. We only see what we want to see and believe what we want to believe, and it works. We lie to ourselves so much that after a while the lies start to seem like the truth. We deny so much that we can't recognize the truth... right in front of our faces. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Derek: You skipping rounds?

Meredith: Avoiding mother.
Derek: Meredith.
Meredith: You've got a wife.
Derek: Yes.
Meredith: You're life is complicated.
Derek: Yes.
Meredith: I don't need complicated. I have complicated all on my own.
Derek: Yes.
Meredith: Stop saying yes.
Derek (smiling): Try not to make any sudden movements.
Meredith: You think this is funny.
Derek: Addison' s leaving. She doesn't have any more patients in this hospital. There' s no reason for her to be here.
Meredith: No reason?
Derek: None what so ever.

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  Derek: Just because she offered her services doesn't mean she intends to stay.

Meredith: Well what does it mean? Because it seems to me ...
Derek: It means that she's a good doctor.
Meredith: Oh ho ho. Why are you suddenly defending her?
Derek: I'm not. Meredith ... she gave me divorce papers. She filed.
Meredith: Oh ... well that' s good.
Derek: All I have to do is sign and I'm free ... We' re free.
Meredith: Is there anything to think about?
Derek: No of course not. I have to read through them. Sign them and then Addison is on the next plane out of here.

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  Sometimes reality has a way of sneaking up and biting us in the ass. And when the dam bursts, all you can do is swim. The world of pretend is a cage, not a cocoon. We can only lie to ourselves for so long. We are tired, we are scared, and denying it doesn't change the truth. Sooner or later we have to put aside our denial and face the world, head on, guns blazing... Denial. It's not just a river in Egypt. It's a freakin' ocean. So how do you keep from drowning in it?

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