Crawl

Twenty-Eight\\Fault.

Slim\\

Jason left the house hours ago and hasn't returned since. I sat in the kitchen eating lunch with the rest of the gang. We talked about everything, catching up on lost time. Slade, who was showing a lot more hospitality towards me, laughed at a joke Malcolm made towards him defending me after Slade mentioned something about me and Jason's dysfunctional relationship.

"Man, listen, it ain't even like that." Slade laughed. I still didn't feel comfortable around him though, even though I knew he wouldn't let me get hurt or anything.

"I don't know guys, Slim's got competition now." Chaz said with a raise of his eyebrows. "Diana's giving you a run for your money."

"Oh, I can see it now!" Malcolm exclaimed. "Slim v. Diana: the Race for Jason's Love!" He moved his hand across the air as if to symbolize the heading title he'd just came up with.

"My money's on Diana." Slade said with a laugh.

"Nah, fuck that. Slim's gonna win. They got history." Ryan defended.

"Yeah, but Diana's a real ride or die. She's a fighter. I only heard of Slim fighting like what– once or twice? Diana fights for a living!" Slade said.

I frowned. I didn't like neither the topic at hand nor did I like the fact that they were betting on who got Jason's love.

"Jason and Slim got a fucking kid though." Chaz said, "You can't beat that."

"You can when Diana gets a rough amount of two hundred plus a night for each time she wins a fight. And one hundred when she loses." Slade said. "Slim, how much you get paid an hour at the mall?"

I shrugged. "$9.25"

"See, Diana's beat her in the fighting and financial aspects. Slim just got good pussy and a pretty face." Slade shrugged nonchalantly.

"Can we change the subject, please?" I asked.

"Okay, well Slim was there with Jason even after the shit he put her through. You can't beat that." countered Ryan.

"Diana loves the gang lifestyle." Slade defended.

"Slim's killed a bitch for Jason. And Jason's killed a bunch of people over Slim." Malcolm said confidently. My head turned quickly and I gasped.

"Jason killed someone over me?" I asked. That caught me off guard.

"He killed someone yesterday for you." Justin said. I nearly forgot he was even here.

"Who?" I asked. Justin shrugged.

"Someone who sent a hit out on your head. He bombed her house."

Wait...

"Who?" I asked, almost angrily but more so surprised.

Jason killed someone for me? Jason killed multiple people for me? Jason killed someone yesterday for me? That would obviously mean that he still cares about me. But he makes it seem like he hates me.

"Beats the hell out of me. I just know that she was crazy annoying." Ryan shrugged.

"Yeah, she was short and had long black hair and she looked a bit Asian but you could tell she probably wasn't. Nice butt." Chaz described. "Something with a C. Cady, Candy, Cammie. Something, I can't remember."

"Cassie?" I asked.

Malcolm snapped his fingers and pointed to me excitedly. "That's it! That's her name! Her name was Cassie!"

"Jason killed Cassie?" I asked again. I found it very hard to believe even though I knew it was most likely true. Knowing Jason, he killed Cassie just for getting on my bad side, but there was probably a lot more to the story than I was letting myself know and see.

"Duh stupid; are you dumb?" Slade answered in a dragged out voice.

"Wh—why? When? Where? Oh my—Where did he go?"

Justin shrugged in response. "No idea. I think he's at Austin's house."

"Austin?" I asked.

"You wouldn't know him," said Ryan. "He's an ally of our gang. Comes in handy with a lot of shit."

I didn't say anything else after that. I was still in complete shock that Jason killed Cassie, and that it's not the first time he's killed someone over me, as well as the fact that they said she put a hit out on me. I knew she didn't like me after all we'd been through since high school, but would she really try to get me killed? I mean, she'd successfully ripped my heart out and stomped on it figuratively speaking when we were in high school, but that wasn't good enough for her?

"Are you okay, Slim?" asked Malcolm, who had an expression filled with sorrow and worry plastered on his face. I nodded slowly and stood up. "You sure? Where are you going?"

"Nowhere. I'm just tired. That's all." I lied. "I'll see you guys later." I slowly walked to the back where Jason's room was and I laid down in his bed. I went to sleep slowly but surely, and within each dying second of my life that I spent attempting to go to sleep this morning, I spent with Jason and Cassie on my mind.

Why was this bothering me so much? Was it because this meant Jason loved me still? Or was it because this proved how careful I had to be when picking and choosing my friends? Or was I just overreacting? Whatever the case may be, I knew that when I woke up from this nap and Jason came home we'd have to talk about it.

Although we never seemed to be able to come together and talk about anything lately, we just had to talk about this. Because a person was dead, and for all I know it was my fault why the Steele's had to bury their daughter's remains within the nearby future.

I just couldn't shake the thought from my head that had I just left everything alone and not affiliated myself with Jason in anyway, not as many people would've died over the years. Whether it have been Cassie or Sophie or Akash—all people who have done be foul within the past two to three years of my life.

Had I not been affiliated with Jason, Cassie would've still been my friend, Sophie wouldn't have kidnapped me and tried to kill me which led to me shooting her, and Akash wouldn't have tried to rape me, which led to Malcolm killing him.

I hated each of those people in a different way, but I'd never have wished death upon them only for the simple fact that no matter how wrong people do you, they'll always be somebody's friend, son, brother, daughter, sister, husband, wife, mother, or father. They'll always mean something to someone, and only killing them would bring hurt to many other people around them.

My heart was too big, and my conscience was heavy, and I hated myself more knowing that people died because of me. And even though I knew deep down that it wasn't my fault, it was my fault. And it would always be my fault.