Philophobia

Chapter 4

The dream was cryptically a blur.

He didn't recollect much of the this deluded imagination, spending far too much time trying to stay awake from the old numbingly cold coffee sitting by his bedside table.

The fabrication from his night-trance was yet to be untangled as even he could not tell what he was seeing with his own eyes.

But there was these were the facts that he was sure of.

There he sat on a park bench, only it wasn't the one simply a few houses away. This was not at all similar to the scratched decaying bench that he had.  This one seemed fresher, cleaner.

The black-haired boy sat, only this boy wasn't black-haired. His hair was spreading to be a light gingery colour resembling an orange light along the horizon. But it was him for sure. Everything was the same of this newly found Phil. It was the same pale skin with rosy cheeks that never left, littering freckled face with bright blue eyes. Hidden in his own enormously chubby cheeks and the pale hair that sprung out into every direction.

Younger him was fairly larger. A Lot larger. Large enough for him to get teased constantly everyday at school. Large enough for him to run home crying only to see his care workers not give a single care in a world. Large enough to never get a family to pick him even if he had been there the longest, even if he was the nicest, well-spoken, sweetest one of all. Large enough to not only get mocked by the kids behind his back but also the adults. That large.

But the dream didn't debut this distress of the large teasing. Because as Phil watched from a third point of view, a boy appeared who was the same age. And he instantly recognised him.

The boy had a short bowl-like haircut, lightly coloured brown hair. He had a small roundish face too, cheeks rosier than his own and a lot smaller and skinner. At first glance you would think he was half the boy before him's age. But the smaller one had a larger smile, not here to tease the boy.

"Philly, my mummy says she will start making me food also if she has time! That way I can share my food with you all the time like you do with me!" His high-pitched voice screeched with excitement, sitting next to the other boy on the park bench.

The larger boy showed an evident frown as his pale eyebrows knitted together in deep thought. "My class says I should eat less food..." He trailed off, looking down at himself. "I try my best, I really do but it never works..."

The two sat in silence for half a minute, the subject dreading over them like a grim reaper as the topic to be discussed lingered in the air.

"I think you should eat when you are hungry. If you do that, you eat the perfect amount!" The boy sprang back with joy.

The larger boy was going to reply but he couldn't help a small smile make its way onto his face. He reached into his small bag-pack pulling out a sandwich container. "Mum packed extra for you. I only want a little bit though."

"Why?"

"Im not hungry."

"Are you not eating because you're not hungry or because your class told you bot to eat. Remember, eat whenever you're hungry." The smaller boy scolded. "I'll tell your mummy if you don't eat."

"Don't!" The larger one interrupted with a sudden jump. He thought about what would happen if his workers found out. They wouldn't care at all but instead keep a close eye on him. Not to help him get better but more like watching a lab rat with disgust. It only gave them an excuse to talk more about him as the system was already so messed up, there was no fixing it now.

"I will eat." He nodded slowly.

"Every bite you take I take. You are hungry I can tell, your cheeks get really bright red when you are hungry." The smaller one pointed with a finger, shuffling closer to him so that there wasn't any space between the two.

"Okay. I will eat. You're a good friend Dan."

"So are you Phil." The small boy replied with a bright smile, hungrily biting into his sandwich as the other mimicked his actions.

**

When Phil awoke from his slumber, he was met with a pounding headache. It was Monday morning, today he had a day off for student training at his work. It was almost 10am so he hopped out of bed, sighing in agony as his head was pummelled with thoughts.

He slipped on his thickest black coat and wandered out to his nearest corner shop. Since the week was practically beginning, there was nobody about. No one wandering the streets, everybody either at school or work. If he did see somebody, it was usually somebody hurriedly fulfilling an errand.

He smiled at the shopkeeper, wandering through the aisles and stopping at the chocolates aisle with a small sigh of relief, knowing one of the best cures for his headaches was chocolate.

He felt a presence soon swift beside him.

"Have you ever tried this?" The person whom his voice could instantly be recognised asked loudlyf. Phil sighed inwardly, due to his head swirling the last person he wanted to see was the client who was causing this all.

He looked beside him at the slightly taller man who's eyes widened when he saw who it was.

"H-Hi!" Dan blurted with a small side-grin. "I didn't know that was you."

Phil smiled, unable to stop himself when he heard the happiness lacing in the other man's voice.

"Hey Dan." Phil spoke softly, looking back at the chocolates before them.

"Do you have a headache?" Dan asked with a friendly tone too, gazing around at the selection.

Phil spun his head around quickly, eyes wide. "H-How did you know-"

"I guessed. Oh are you hungry by the way? I was going to go grab sone lunch, wanna come?" Dan asked casually on the outside, but on the inside his heart was beating outrageously fast.

Phil shrugged. "Sure why not." He smiled, following Dan as he led them to a nearby cafe which unsurprisingly was abandoned by any customers. They ordered one sandwich and two coffees.

As they waited for their food, Dan's eyebrows furrowed causing his shaking leg to stop movement. "Wait."

"What?" Phil raised an eyebrow as he felt his heart speed up, mind jumping to the wrong conclusions already.

"Aren't you hungry?" Dan asked with a tentative smile.

"Not really."

"But your...your cheeks are red." Dan trailed off with a offhand sigh.

Phil started tapping without realising nervously, shrugging his shoulders in a slightly exaggerated movement. "So what?"

Dan felt himself lower in his seat, cheeks heating up. "I'm sorry, I just thought...you reminded me of...you know what, never mind." He laughed shakily.

Phil was about to reply when luckily the food arrived before he could do so. He sipped at his coffee silently as Dan stared, one eye closed in confusion.

"Half this with me Phil." Dan said nonchalantly, pushing the plate forward so that it rested inbetween the two.

"Not hungry Dan." Phil smiled sweetly resisting the urge to sigh outwardly in annoyance.

"Why?"

"Because I'm not hungry."

"You must be." Dan retaliated with a small pout.

"Dan, I-"

"Then why did you agree to have lunch? Look Phil, eat when you're hungry. It's not that hard. Now eat half unless you want me to walk out of here for half my money's worth cause I sure ain't eating all of that ." Dan's eyebrows furrowed and for the first time Phil could see a bit of assertiveness in the other male, which gave him some sort of relief that this boy was human too.

Phil rolled his eyes and smirked, finally giving in. "Fine." He mumbled, taking a bit from one half of the sandwich as Dan took the other, mimicking each bite he took a split second after.

Phil could feel his mind twisting as the gears began to get to work again. He needed this to be over with, no more of these dreams but then he realised that somehow the solution to end these could be the problem itself.

xx