* The Secrets Behind His Mask * {( H 2 O V A N O S S )} [✅]

Chapter 2: Chest Pains~

Jonathan's POV:

My eyes fluttered open slowly and I blinked against the sun that filtered through my window. Something felt off. There was a stinging on my chest and it felt heavy, like it was wet. I pulled back the covers to see my bare chest. Deep scratches covered my skin and blood had scabbed over the cuts. They were fresher than they had been in the past, a bit worse than usual. I closed my eyes, not wanting to move or get out of bed. I really just wasn't motivated to do anything but after another minute or so, I slowly swung my legs over the side of the bed and stood up, dragging myself to the bathroom. I flicked on the lights but avoided looking in the mirror and went straight to the drawer that held all of my washcloths.

Turning the sink faucet on, I let the warm water run over my cold fingers, trying furiously to clean the dried blood out from under my nails. I then soaked the rag and pressed it against my flesh, watching as the blood ran with the water down my abdomen. This happened every once and awhile, especially when I was under a lot of pressure. I turned the water on to the shower and went back to blotting at my chest and down my left side trying to get the blood cleared from my skin. I checked the water and stepped into the shower carefully, rubbing a little more harshly than I should have at my chest wounds.

I don't get why I don't go to someone about this, tell someone that I do this to myself. It's hard though, I haven't been out all week and seeing as I can't talk to people I'd probably say some stupid shit and get thrown in a psychiatric ward for fucks sake. I winced as I looked down at my thighs, where did those come from? I could swear I didn't scratch myself there, then again maybe I did... I don't even really know anymore.

I rinsed the rag out until it was all dark blue again with no red staining in it and flung it into the hamper next to the towel rack. I turn the water off and reach for one of the towels on the rack just as my phone rings, it's Vanoss's ring tone. I stare down at the phone for a moment before finally deciding to pick it up. "Hello?" I talked into the phone, waiting for a reply.

"Hey, Jonathan!"

"Oh, hi Evan." I said, pretending to be somewhat surprised that it was him calling.

"I'm just calling to run a few things past you," He stated and began his little speech, "If I'm not mistaken, this is your first convention so I thought that I'd help with buying the plane tickets and you wouldn't have to find a place to stay cause we could just share a room. How does that sound?" Evan asked in a rush and I thought about it, leaning up against the cold stone counter top.
There were a lot of things that could happen if Evan and I shared a room. I ran the risk of him finding out about my... condition and I wasn't exactly the easiest to live with either. I mean, I left my clothes on the floor and sometimes I'd forget to put the cap back on my toothpaste. Just little things that could get annoying after a while. I felt nervousness pool in my gut at the thought of him realizing what I was actually like and then push me away because of it. Evan was probably my closest friend, besides Cartoonz, and I'm not sure if I could stand him tossing me aside like so many others have before.

"Uh, Jon?" A voice on the other end of the phone brought me out of thought. "You still there?" Evan asked.

"Yeah, I'm still here."

"So, what do you think? I could just book the flights and send you your ticket then we could meet up at the hotel before we head down to E3." Evan explained as if he had planned out every single detail of the trip in his mind.

"I'm not so sure..." I hesitated, staring to feel an itch in my right side.

"Aw, c'mon, dude! It'll be fun, I swear!" Evan's voice had that smooth and persuasive tone to it that I just couldn't resist.

Rolling my eyes, I sighed loudly enough for him to hear. "Fine... but don't think that I won't still fucking hate you for this."

The man on the other end of the line chuckled, "Okay, McSalty but I promise that I'll make you change your mind about that." Before I had the chance to say anything more, Evan ended the call.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck," I sang to myself to the tune of jingle bells (A/N:) I bet you went back and sang that in the tune of jingle bells) all the way down the hall, back to my bedroom. I was so fucking fucked, Evan didn't even know what he was in for... yet neither did I.

A few days later I had gotten Evans plane ticket in the mail that he had bought me; which he shouldn't have, I'll have to remember to thank him right away when I meet him. As if on cue, I received a text from Evan.
"Sup, Delirious! Did you receive the ticket?"

I sighed and started typing my reply, "Yea, I got it... why?"

A little notification popped up telling me that he was typing. "No reason ;3" I read his message, blushing slightly but then I shook it off, lightly scratching my stomach.

"Okay, Evan. Sure..." I texted, my fingers moving swiftly over the small keyboard.

"Anyway, I'll see you soon! Bye :)" Evan left the conversation and I set my phone down, my mind filling with thoughts of Evan and what he exactly had in mind for me at E3.

I set my phone down and walked to the kitchen, limping a bit. I grabbed a water bottle from the fridge and walked back to my room. Looking at the mess it had become, I decided to clean up a bit. I strip my bloody sheets for what seems like the millionth time, throwing them in my room hamper along with other random dirty clothing that lay scattered across the room. I picked the hamper up and walked to the washing machine, throwing everything into it, turning it on. I walked back to my room and threw myself onto my bare mattress and sighed starting to feel my stomach growl. I'm not that hungry.