Pens of Fate

Beautiful Girl, I hope you're still listening

Yes, Beautiful Girl, I'm back! I'm confident that you've been eating your greens and drinking your milk and yum-yum, all that magnesium and calcium must be working its way into your cells and making them joyful.

What's that? You've been on a burger and shake diet instead? Hmm. Let's talk about that today. You know, you don't have to literally eat your feelings. Sure, you can indulge in some treats--occasionally. OK, sometimes. Alright, once a week. Yeah, you can sweeten your milk and your tea. Hey, don't overstep your bounds with me here. You've got to understand, this is a serious situation. Your body won't thank you for that 500-calorie, sugar-loaded chocolate shake, even though your sweet-addicted brain cells will. You're just going to have to wean those brain cells off the sweet stuff. It's addictive.

Yes, I know I jumped into the food talk without warning, but seeing you eat like this has made me jump into action. The Beautiful Girl eats like a human being. Just to put it politely. Not being overly critical here.

Repeat after me, food is not entertainment. Really. That shouldn't be news to you. There are so many other ways to unwind and relax. Only, they require some input and effort on your part to do them. So you turn to mindless eating instead. Baaaad choice.

The way you eat is more about what's going on in your mind than what's going on in your stomach. It's easier to stuff your mouth rather than deal with your real thoughts. So I'm going to step back and ask you to put down that cookie like a nice Beautiful Girl. One. Two. Three. See, that was easy, wasn't it?

Hey! Why are you running off towards--hey! No, you're not supposed to eat the whole--ahem. I need to abandon this diary entry and get this situation under control. Catch you later, folks.