Ecstasy

Gilinsky

"Well, duh." Jack gives me the look to signify I am the dumbest human being ever.
I glare at him, shoving him off my body even more. "You said you weren't gonna do that anymore."
"I lied." Jack tries to climb back onto my body.
I stand up, making it near impossible. "Stop. I'm not going to have sex with you when you're all drugged up."
"Then kiss me. We won't have sex," Jack gives me a sweet smile, his eyes blazing red and pupils dilated.
I shake my head. How could he do that?! He was so close to quitting!
"Come find me later when you're not high," I say. "I love you."
Jack sighs. "I love you, too."
He gets up, pulling on his shirt. He then walls over to the sliding glass door and walks down the path to the beach, his feet sinking in the sand.
I watch him go, my stomach in a turmoil of emotions. I love him so much, I just wish he wouldn't hurt himself like that. It makes me so angry that I started this all; I had dragged him to that stupid party. It was all my fault, in hopes of us both getting drunk that night and then inevitably sleeping together. But instead, I had gotten him addicted to sex drugs and almost killed.
My mind being a muddle of thoughts, I decide to call my friend Allison. She's always able to help me through things.
"Hey, Allie. Can you come over? I need someone to talk to." I say into the receiver, not giving her time to say hello.
"Yeah, of course. What's wrong? I guess you'll just tell me when I get there. You're at the beach house Skate got you, right? I'll be there in ten minutes."
That was the thing I liked about Allison. She was no nonsense. True to her word, ten minutes later there's a rapid knocking on my door. I drag myself over to it then open it, and Allison stands there, looking as magnificent as ever. Her blonde hair falls from her head in its luscious curls, bouncing whenever she walks. Her ice blue eyes battle with the beauty of Jack's, and her skin is a fair and pale complexion, giving her an extreme dutchess appearance. Allison is gorgeous, and if I wasn't with Jack, I'd be trying to be with her. Which makes sense, because I used to- still do- have a crush on her.
"Hey, Jack." Allison smiles, and I suck in a breath as I invite her inside.
She goes to sit on the couch, taking off her shoes and wiggling her manicured toes in the carpet. "What did you want to talk to me about?"
I sit next to her and sigh. "Jack."
Allison nods. "What about him?"
"Well, it's just that... I love him, you know? I love him so much, it makes my head hurt. And I hate the way he treats himself."
"How does he treat himself, exactly?" Asks Allison.
"Like trash. He's not trash! He's treasure. But he hates himself... he self harms, and he takes so much drugs."
Allison stares at me, her mouth set to the side as she chews her cheek. It's obvious she's thinking of what to say.
"I know all about Jack and the Ecstasy. Skate and Nash told me. It's highly addictive, you know. Maybe he can't stop."
I groan. "But he did. He did stop for a while. I don't even know why he started again, or how he got it."
Allison and I sit in silence. She looks down at her feet, her hair falling like a curtain around her face. I watch her admiringly, not aware I was doing it until she looks up at me, smiles, and says "what?"
I smile too and shake my head, still staring at her.
"Why are you looking at me like that?" She asks, her eyes scrunching up at the corners when she smiles.
"Because you're beautiful. And I enjoy looking at beautiful things." I say truthfully. A pang of guilt hits me straight in the chest as I think of Jack; I wouldn't want him telling other people they were beautiful, so why had I?
Because it's true. Because she deserves to be told. I shake my head slightly, trying to scatter the thoughts.
Allison blushes furiously, her cheeks turning a rosy pink. "Th-thank you." She stutters. I think it's cute the way she gets all flustered when someone compliments her. It's like she doesn't believe them.
I smile. "You're welcome."
She looks into my eyes, and I stare back into hers. They're like deep pools of water, a blue lake in a green forest.
I lean closer to her, my eyes flicking down to her lips. She leans in too, then suddenly she pushes me away.
"Jack!" She gasps. "We can't. You have a boyfriend. And you told me you love him, so you don't want to do anything to ruin that."
I nod thoughtfully. "Yeah, you're right. I'm sorry."
We sit in silence for a few more minutes, the tension growing and the air between us becoming electrified.
Suddenly I'm on top of her, and we're shedding clothes faster than the speed of light. Before I have time to think, her lips are on mine and my hands are traveling down her body, appreciating every little flaw she has.
"Jack," she says, breathless. "Jack, we shouldn't." But before she can comply to her own words, her lips are on mine again.
In the back of my mind, I'm thinking
Hey, a casual affair could go anywhere.
And I want to stop, because I'm so deeply in love with Jack, but I'm also in love with Allison.
Stop! My mind screeches at me. Stop! What about Jack?!
But it's too late, because Allison and I have already started. And once you start, there's few things that'll make you stop.
"Jack?" It's not Allison's angelic voice. It's Jack Johnson's.
Remember the thing I said earlier about few things able to make you stop once you start?
Take your boyfriend walking in, for instance.