Hurting Girl and a Bad boy

Higher than a kit

// warning- contains self harm and suicidal moments. You have been warned//

His words kept playing in my mind once I got back home and to my relief mum was gone as well. I can't stand that bitch just like she can't stand me.

I dragged me feet across the floor to the stairs before lazily walking up them towards the bathroom. I shut the door behind me and swiped the towel of the towel rack and rolled it up to put at the base of the door. I made sure the window was grimly locked before running the water for a bath.

Placing my already made spliffs on the side along with my blades, I slipped my clothes off one by one while the water ran filling the room with steam.

I felt nothing. Yet I still felt a longing to be loved and wanted in this awful world. But I knew it would never happen. I'm worthless and selfish that's what every one said that's why everyone left. I was a curse to everyone and the only way to cured from a curse is to get rid of the problem... ME.

My eyes filled up but I quickly wiped away the tears before turning off the taps and climbing into the bath.

I lit my first joint and took in the wonderful smoke. I held it in while I pushed my head under the water trying to hold it as long as possible. It felt like ages the sound of the water in ears was loud along with my some what steady heart beat. A burning sensation lit in my lungs telling me I should come to the surface but I pushed myself to stay under ten more seconds.

I only let my mouth out the water to let the smoke out before taking another long suck on the joint. And I repeated the process before finishing the joint.

I felt all light but I knew my problems were still deep down in my mind. I stared at my arms and legs through the smoke and steam just being able to make out cuts and scars that littered them, all cris crossing and white. My hands trembled as I reached for my blade that still had dried blood on it from the last time.

I turned my left arm over to expose my prominent veins in my wrist even tho they were covered in scars. I brought the blade down to the base of my hand where my wrist started. Seconds past. Then minutes.

"Fuck sake Raven just drag it down already, you bitch!" I screamed at myself as a dag the blade in and ran it down my form arm. Blood started to ooz out and drip into the water turning it pink.

"I hope it's deep enough for you mum. I did this for you world! You won't have to see my ugly face every again." I screamed as the tears came down for one last time as my head started to feel light but heavy at the same time.

My vision started to blur and become darker and my thoughts travelled to Billy and his eyes, just as I heard the slamming of a door downstairs.

But it was too late, I slipped under the water taking my last breath. "Good bye, world."

BILLY'S P.O.V

I followed her to her house as she stayed silent and unaware I was behind her by only 10 meters. She dragged her feet and her upper body was hunched over slightly which made her spin noticeable through her hoodie.

It pained me to see such a beautiful thing be so broken and damaged inside and out. The image of her body littered with scars haunted my dreams and memory. The pain she must be feeling to that damage to herself is just wrong and isnt right. I felt murderous to who ever made her feel like this.

When she finally made it to her house and inside no lights were turned on apart from one upstairs. The window was all bubble so you couldn't see through it clearly.indicating it was the bathroom.

The outside air nipped at my fingers and ears and made my nose run as I stood outside just gazing at the window which slowly became steamed up.

What seemed like ages past before I could smell a faint whiff of weed coming down from the air vent of the top floor. The blood in my veins pumped faster ever so slightly and my whole never system was put on edge. This didn't seem right but it wouldn't be right of me just to barge into her house.

I was torn in two.

I just wanted to help this girl who had lost her way. But I was the bad boy I couldn't just go round being kind to girls just because they had a few issues. But... but she was different. Her eyes showed no emotion, her smile lacked happiness and her whole body lacked life.

I was ripped from my thoughts when I heard screaming for the house "-drag it down already, you bitch" was all heard in her voice.

Drag what down? What was she on about? My mind went into over drive before and image flashed into my mind of her scared limbs.

"Shit!" My legs moved by themselves towards the door. I rammed my shoulder into it to bust the lock open. I tried over and over again.

Her voiced shouted again " -you won't have to see my ugly face ever again." My heart pumped so hard in my chest.

"Fuck it!" I kicked at the door where the lock was and it swung open with so much force it smashed into the wall behind it. There was no time to check the damage to the house as a girl was dying above me.

My feet pounded the floor and up the stairs. I followed the sent of weed that lingered in the air towards the only closed door. I tried the handle but it was locked.

"RAVEN!! RAVEN!! Are you alive? Answer me!" I hammered on the door but was met with no response.

I did what I did to the front door and kick it where the locked was. It took me a few goes before it also flew open.
Smoke and steam bellowed out which ment I couldn't see into the room.

I stormed in as it cleared to find her clothes on the floor and a bath full of red water and her face centimetres from the surfaces. Diving my hands into the water, I scooped her out. Her body was naked, body and scarred. But this was not time nor place to check her out.

I grabbed the towel from behind the door and wrapped it around her bleeding arm. I checked for a pulse on the other arm. The pulse was faint but she wants breathing.

This beautiful broken creation was slipping through my fingers as a struggle to comprehend what was happening.

"What do I do? What the fuck do I do, Billy?" I smacked my head with my hand.

The hospital! I yanked my phone out my pocket before calling the ambulance.

"I need an ambulance... suicide... she's 17... erm I dunno at the end of Dry meadows lane I will turn all the lights on... okay ill stay on line..." I answered their questions as I gripped her uncut wrist still able to feel her ever so faint pulse.

"Stay with me." I whispered as I stared at her still face.