phone

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please don't make me feel
that dreadful sinking inside
in the second of dull silence
when i slowly realise that
you didn't pick up the phone

anything but the rejection
that feeds my anxiety like a furnace
and i can never quite succeed
to quell the rising stench
of stale disappointment

time and time and time again
the shining promise of your voice
leads me to the same forsaken place
i'm so full of naive expectations
but one by one they die

please don't leave me whispering
through to the empty room
"i thought I meant more than this"
grasping the cold dead phone
and drowning in the knowledge

that I'm alone

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