Obsession

#Markmi

The stage lights are almost blinding. I'm not complaining though. They shine so brightly in my eyes that they hide the audience. It helps my nerves, not being able to see the ocean of eyes staring at me.

As the thump of music surrounds me I take a deep breath. This is it. I open my mouth and out comes my voice. It's not shaky, it doesn't quaver. I don't stutter. Despite my nerves, my voice is clear and powerful. Just like that, the flow of the rap takes over me.

Na michil geot gatae ama jichin geot gatae

I'm spitting G-Dragon's lyrics as if I was born singing them. I feel alive. Energy is coursing through me, like fire burning in my veins, as I swing to the beat that pounds inside my heart.
I learnt the choreography quite a while ago but I feel as if I've been practising it all day. The music has completely taken over, nothing matters anymore except the rhythm and melody that's resonating in my soul.

Goodnight

And then it's over.
All too soon.

We pile off the stage congratulating each other. Euphoric. Every single one of us is beaming.

"Good job!" WooJu congratulates me.

"You too!" We high five.

I see Daisy running over.
"Aimi, that was awesome!"

"Where were you?!" I cry.

"Oh, it doesn't matter. You did a great job! You must be thirsty. Let's go get a drink."

I study her carefully, but I can't read anything different in her expression. She seems absolutely fine, so why do I feel worried?

At the drinks table, I gulp down at least three glasses of water before feeling satisfied. Then Daisy drags me over to a corner where a bunch of people are messing around on segways.

"Let's try it!" Daisy says as we join the crowd. I look skeptically at the two wheeled electronic board. What even is it?
Someone steps off a board and hands it to Daisy. She glides around like a natural, even doing a jump as she spins.

"Aimi, you try," she steps off. I try to get on but can't seem to find my balance. I have to lean on Daisy's shoulder.

"You make it look easy," I complain as I hold onto her arm and finally manage to step on. Once both feet are on, I can balance. Daisy instructs me on how to move.

"Lean forward to go forward, lean back on your heels to move backwards."
At first all I can do is spin in circles but I soon begin to get the hang of it.
I'm zooming back to Daisy when I notice a familiar face.
Mark. He's helping Bambam get on a board.

BAM.
Some one else on a segway crashes into me. If I hadn't been distracted it would've been fine but as it happens I was. I topple off, landing painfully on my side. My foot bangs against something hard.
"Sorry," mumbles whoever just crashed into me. He segways off. Idiot.

Daisy rushes over.
"Are you okay?"

"Yeah," I'm not though. My ankle hurts. A lot. "I'm fine."

"You sure?" Daisy helps me up.

"Yep," I laugh, "I'm just going to go to the toilet. Be back in a minute." I walk away trying to not show a trace of a limp. I don't go to the toilet. I find a corridor that's empty. As soon as I confirm no one's around I collapse on the floor gripping my ankle. Pain is shooting through my ankle bone and it's all I can do not to whimper. I hear footsteps and immediately struggle to my feet. Mark comes around the corner. Perfect timing. Not.

Please, not now. Why do I always meet him at the most inconvenient times?

"I saw you fall. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," my fist is clenched behind my back. Don't focus on the pain. Don't focus on the insistent throbbing.

"Really?" He looks pointedly at my feet. I'm very obviously putting my weight only on my left foot. Ugh, who am I kidding? I slide back down to the ground.
"My ankle hurts," I admit.

"Wait here, I'll get some ice."

I watch him sprint back down the corridor. I can't believe he's helping me. This doesn't feel real.
Just be cool, Aimi. Don't freak out, don't fangirl. Be normal.
I take off my right shoe and sock. A purple bruise has already developed. I touch it tenderly. Ow, itai...

Only a couple of minutes later, Mark comes running back holding a bag of ice wrapped in a thin towel.
"Here."

I reach out to take the bag but he kneels down and gently places it on my ankle himself. I flinch and a small hiss of pain escapes as my skin comes into contact with the cold.

"Sorry," he looks up, "How does it feel?"

"Painful." I can't meet his eyes. "But I think it's just bruised."

"Can you move it?"

I wiggle my foot slightly.
"Yes."

Mark smiles.
"That's good. What's your name?"

"Aimi."

"Nice to meet you, I'm Mark," he holds out a hand. I can't help but laugh. Did he really need to introduce himself?

"I know," I shake his hand. His hand is so soft and warm. My eyes connect with his for a brief moment but then I have to look away again. His eyes are so dark but a light from within makes them twinkle. They're entrancing.

"Your performance was amazing. You outshone everyone," he says still staring.

"No, no," my face is flushed, I can feel it, "I did just as well as everyone else."

Mark scoffs.
"Seriously. You deserve to debut."

"That's all I want," I mumble, shy all of a sudden. It's a lie really. There's something else I want. I'll never get it though. Possibly the most unrealistic thing I've wished for, more unrealistic than the time I wished for a pet lion when I was six. He'll never like me like that.

"You have a good chance now, after that performance. How's your ankle feeling?"

I move the ice bag.
"It feels better," I smile, "Thanks."

He grins back.
"Shall we go back to the party?" I ask.

"Okay, let me help you," he offers me his arm. I take it. He accidentally pulls me up too hard and I stumble into him. The scent of his leather jacket, his deodorant, his washing powder fills my nose. I can hear his breathing; soft intakes of air that ruffles part of my hair slightly upon leaving. His hand is still clasping mine. I feel his thumb brush a line across the back of my hand leaving a trail of tingles. It all happens in a matter of seconds. I come to my senses and let go of his hand.
"Sorry!" I exclaim stepping back.

"Sorry," he says at the same time. We both smile awkwardly and I try to ignore the shiver that is being sent through me.