Smoke & Mirrors(ON HOLD)

Chapter Four

AUGUST

It's my first day back on tour with the EST Crew. I was a little nervous to go initially because of what happened with Colson and I but everyone seemed fine including Kells so I didn't make a huge deal about it. I'm not letting him mess with my money. Ever since Casie's birthday party, I've been losing my feelings for him a significant amount. 

It didn't happen in a day but that conversation we had really woke me up and made me see Kells isn't for me, as much as I wanted it to work and make him into the man I need and want, I can't so it's best that I just move on. 

Josh has been an amazing support system in my life.

 After I came home I called and told him what happened. He was right there helping me with everything. He even came all the way to San José to see how I was doing. 

Steph and Ash really like him. I think Slim likes him too but just won't admit it. we're in the tour bus right now heading to the next city I think it was like Utah or something but I wasn't really paying attention when they said it earlier. Our bunk arrangements are different than the last tour seeing as I was with Kells the last time so we shared the big bed but now I have my own little bunk on the top then it Aj and Basil on the bottom. Today I don't have to actually do anything since Casey is still here so I'm chilling.

 I'm actually not going to be doing as many dates as last time since I'm only here for two months. By mid October I'm going to be with Josh in New York. I can't wait to go back to New York to see Josh. He said he had some surprises for me and that he wants me to meet his parents. I freaked out because Josh and I aren't together yet so how is he going to introduce me? What if they don't like me? He told me not to worry about it, he already told his Mom about me and she can't wait to meet me. I on the other hand hadn't told anyone other than the crew about Josh because I didn't want to hear my brother's or Uncle's mouth about me moving too fast.

So far Josh has only met the Crew and Stephanne but he asks a lot about my family and my dad. He tells me all the time that I should reach out to him. I've honestly been thinking about it a lot, like being with him makes me wanna be a better person and want to change, not to forget but just change my relationship with the people I've let go, starting with my father. 

I haven't spoken to him in almost a year and I feel like I should. No matter what he's done he is still my father and I still love him. I just want my dad to make the right choices, to think about us for once and not his whore who is sucking him dry of his money. I just want to be able to start over. 

Even though my mother is dead, I know she loves him and would want me to do the right thing.

Josh is also a really good influence on me I know I sound like a little kid but he really inspires me to change, he is so passionate about his music and school but he also is super focused on his family and not forgetting about them and is able to balance his time with them in the mist of his busy life. I just want to take my business far and expand my empire. I decided to call my uncle because I hadn't spoken to him in a while. When he picked up he sounded like he just woke up. " What, M ?"

"Damn Andrew I can't even get a hello. It's good to hear from you too."

" sorry, sorry but what's up."

" nothing really I just needed your advice."

"If it's about that gringo I'm hanging up."

" No it's about Papi" I said laughing

"He actually called me a few days ago, He's not doing so good "

" Why did he call you ?"

" Well he knew that he couldn't call you or Andy so I was his only option. I cursed him out at first but then he told me he was getting sick so he went to the doctor and they said they found some tumors."