I Even Funnier: A Middle School Story

meanwhile, back in reality...

Sometimes people in my dreams say crazy dumb stuff because they forget I'm in a wheelchair.
Hey I dont blame them. I'd like to forget it, too.
But I cant.
Of course, I keep hoping that one day I'll see a commercial for a new wonder drug called something like spinulax that will magically make me walk again. Unfortunately, it would probably come with a list of gross side effects like all those other pills they advertise on TV: "spinulax may cause constipation and diarrhea. Not to mention projectile vomiting. And sudden death syndrome--as in,oops sorry, you're dead."
When I wake up, I'm in my bedroom. In the garage. Back in the real world. And I need to get my butt ready for school.
About my bedroom in the garage... when I moved to long Beach to live with my aunt and uncle, the only spare room in the house wasn't actually in the house. This is why my clothes often smell like a home depot.
I call my aunt and uncles house in smiley ville because when I first got here, nobody ever smiled. Not even the dog, ol smiler. He hadn't wagged his tail in so long his butt was brittle.
Anyway I think I've finally figured out why the smiley always look so glum.
It's the oat gruel.
That's what mrs smiley serves for breakfast every mornimg. You know how they say breakfast will stick with you? Well her oat gruel sure will. It'll stick to your teeth and the roof of ur mouth.
All day long
Quick somebody call one of those cable TV networks! I have an awesome idea for a new reality show: breakfast with the smileys! It'll be 5he exact opposite of those shows about the Kardashians or the real housecats of Beverly hills. No glitz. No glamour. No nothing.
"Have a nice day" says my aunt mrs smiley. "Dont forget your lunch" my uncle mr smiley reminds me.
"Be home by six" aunt smiley adds.
Yep. They're even blade than oat gruel.
But they took me into their home when I had no place else to go.
And for that I will always be grateful.
No joke.