Isola Di Lucertole

Chapter 1: Do you speak Italian?

"Oi, how far off are we from the mainland?" Sans said as he hangs his head out the window. "I'm a paleontologist, not a mapper." Edmund says with sarcasm. "It'll be at least another 4 hours before we get to the island." As they speak they are interrupted "Sir, we are getting contact from the Italian government are trying to contact us, but we can't understand it!" Sans quickly stands up "I speak plenty of Italian!" Sans grabs the hand radio and listens.

"NON atterrare su quell'isola !! Non si può entrare nella zona senza scorta militare !! Questo è l'ultimo avvertimento prima di agire a noi stessi ! Sarà abbattuto !" (Translation: DO NOT land on that island !! You can not enter the area without military escort !! This is the last warning before taking action ourselves! you will be shot down !) The man says while the radio crackles. Sans looks at the pilot and gives a thumbs up "We can land!!" He says with glee."Are you sure you want to do this if we get a messages from the Italian government?" Edmund says as he rises from his seat. "About an hour before we land." the pilot says as he flips switches.

After hours they land on the beach of the island and cover their mouths with their shirts. "Why did we have to land on a beach" Sans says as he runs away from the helicopter. "Emergency landing was all we where informed to do and I think we should set up-" Edmund freezes as and lowers his jaw as if a gem was uncovered in the sand. "D-Do you know what this is?!" He runs to a fern laying wet on the bank of the bay. "This fern was suppose to be extinct!!" He picks up the salty green fern and holds it high in the air. "Hehe, you a hippy or something?" Sans says walking over to Edmund while drinking from his flask.  Edmund looks up with a stern face and puckered lips. "I'll have you know that this is a fern that was suppose to be extinct 300 million years ago!!" Edmund throws the fern down and moves on to another Amazing! Ancient! Ridiculous! bunch of ferns and other prehistoric plant life.

"Well, A day of prehistoric plant life can really tire you down" Edmund says as he sits down and starts to set a fire. "Yeah I've been drinking all day" Sans stops and sits on a log by the fire. "I can use a drink" he says unscrewing his flask. "Are you just a drunk? or do you have any talents?" Edmund says looking at Sans. "Yeah I know this island really well, I use to live here. Until The Project " Sans says waving his arms around. "They bought my people out for more money than we've ever heard of! My parents used it to give me an education on the mainland. So if you want any more of your Flower Power, I suggest you stick with me Ed" Sans drinks the rest of his flask away and puts wood on the fire. Edmund throws a sleeping bag at Sans telling him to go to sleep and they both sleep on the back and listen to the sound of the waves wash up kelp and wood from the sea so deep.

In the morning they are awakened by the sound of a helicopter taking off. "Oi! GET BACK HERE!" Sans runs towards the helicopter and trips over a backpack laying in the sand. "AGH! WHAT IN THE NAME OF VIRGIN MARY IS IN THAT!" Edmund wakes up and runs towards Sans on the ground. "What are you yelling abou-" Edmund opens the backpack and finds a steel ball and a clip board. "Ok? I hope it's in English" Edmund flips through the pages and reads them aloud. "Dear Sans and Edmund, along with this paper and clipboard is a nuclear warhead, make sure you get to the center of the island and blow the lizards to bits. This'll make Noou (NE-EW) Corp pay. With lots of love, General Jason of the US army~." Edmund looks at the steel ball containing the doomsday device. "Wh-What are we suppose to do?!" Edmund looks at Sans who is already packing supplies. "You heard the man, all we got to do is kill some lizards and blow the island up." Sans and Edmund look at each other and slowly turn towards the thick and vast jungle ahead.

Edmund pulls a camera out and starts recording. "Day one of the journey to the center, Sans hasn't stopped with the puns at all." Sans is in the background singing and hacking at small trees and brush. "We're off to kill the lizard, the wonderful lizard of oz!" Sans laughs at his own jokes and takes a drink from his flask. "C'mon Bear Grylls , we're almost to a clearing" As they trek through the woods they stumble upon concrete. "What the heck?" Sans says tapping the ground with the machete. "This was never here." Sans runs ahead while Edmund is still talking about plants.  "EDMUND!!! COME HERE RIGHT NOW" Sans yells to Edmund "You want to see this!" Edmund walks slowly up to Sans pushing brush out of the way and drops his jaw in aw.  "Is this what you called The Project" Said Edmund.

They walk up to the doors of a CDC like building with scorched walls and blood soaked tiles.  "What in the name of Virgin Mary happened here?!" Sans says as he looks inside and smells the air. "It smells of death, the blossom of the flower is still in bloom.  The thrones upon the rose have fixed an angle of danger." Sans takes a big drink from his silver flask "Should we knock?" Edmund looks in aw. "Why are you-" Edmund stopped and listened to the room. "Do you hear that?" Sans leans his head around. "Yeah, Is that Beethoven?" Sans nods his head "The fifth symphony, but where is it coming from?" A small glint of light is shining under a door.  "Lets go!" Sans screamed. "Sure why not" Edmund agrees. 

They both open the door and see a man in a white suit and a purple tie.  He looks at them while stirring a beaker. "Good evening gentleman, I was not sure I had company." He tilts his head, smiles and sets the beaker down. "Care for some tea, or perhaps some coffee?" Sans marched up and hit the man directly in his lower jaw. "Bastardo! Is that how the Irish say hello?"