We were on our third week of touring and it was basically the same thing everyday. Like Lex in secret, comfort her when she cried about her ex and watch Disney movies.
"Goodnight Los Angeles!" We all ran off stage and I flopped onto the couch. I felt weight on my back and looked up. "Get up lazy ass! We're going to go get food!" Lex jumped up and down on my back. I sat up and she sat next to me, laying her head on my shoulder. I looked down at her while she talked to Jack and Joan on the opposite couch from us. I looked up to see almost everyone's eyes popping out and their mouths open. "What the hell is the matter with all of you?" Jack pointed towards the door behind me and what I saw made my hear sink. "L-Lisa?..." Why was she here? Why? I looked back and saw Lex wide-eyed and shocked. I had told her all about how Lisa had cheated on me during our relationship.
Lisa ran up to me and wrapped her arms around my neck and hugged me. I don't know what came over me but I hugged her tightly around her waist. "Alex. I'm so sorry. I don't know what I was thinking... I should have never broken up with you for a stupid fling." In an instant, a billion thoughts came flooding into my head. Did I still love Lisa? Did I like Lex? Would Lisa and me end up back together? Was she being truthful? It seemed like Lex liked me back. Am I hurting her by hugging Lisa at this very moment? I felt everyone staring at us until Lex spoke. "ANYWAYSSSS, are we going to eat or what? I'm starving!" Everyone agreed and stood up. "Who's that?" Lisa questioned. When we were together, she would always have to know who the girls were. "That's Lex from The Glass Case."---"Why did she have her head on you?"---"She’s been sad. Her ex said some stuff and she’s taking it hard." My feelings for Lisa and Lex were getting mixed and it was giving me a headache. "Let's just go with them." Lisa took a hold of my hand and we walked out behind everyone else.
Holding her hand felt like holding a complete strangers.
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We stopped at a subway because we didn't want to get dressed up for a restaurant and just wanted to get back to the buses. Lisa still had her hand in mine while Flyzik ordered ATL's and TGC's food. Even with Lisa there, I couldn't help but keep looking at Lex. I looked at Lisa who looked completely different than before. She used to be the fun, outgoing girl but now... she just looked like a slut. I looked away towards Lex and felt my stomach turn. Zack had embraced in a hug and I could see the tears in her eyes. I grabbed Lisa and walked outside rapidly. "Alex, what are you do-" I cut her off "Lisa, why did you come back?"---" I told you Alex. I regretted my decision." She put her hand on my neck and pulled me towards her and kissed my lips softly. I kissed back, hoping. Hoping that the fireworks we once had would return again. Hoping that the memories we had built over 4 years would open up the feelings I still had for Lisa. But, it didn't.
That's when I realized, I didn't love Lisa, but I loved Lex. I had fallen for a girl in almost a month. I pulled away. "Lisa, I can't and I don't want to do this. I actually cried for you. And you didn't even care."--"It's that girl Lex isn't it?" I looked away. "Well, she can’t have you. Didn’t you say she just got out of a relationship? She wouldn’t be with you. I love you Alex and I’m the only one that you can have.” She pulled me into another kiss and I kissed back, feeling nasty. We walked back inside and I sat in a chair and Lisa sat on my lap. I looked over at Lex and Zack on the opposite table, and felt jealousy fill me up when I saw Zack kiss her temple. Were my feelings that strong?
After eating, we strolled back to the buses. Lex ran into her bus and I felt guilty. Was she mad at me or was she still mad at her ex? Lisa pulled me through everyone, into the bus and to the back lounge, closing the door behind us. She pounced on me, attacking my face and fumbling with the button of my jeans. What the hell? “Lisa? What happened to you?”---“What do you mean?”---“What I mean is,” I pushed her off me, “you used to be outgoing, had actual conversations, and all that. Now, you dress like you don’t any clothes and you’re attacking me every chance you get.” I just turned out a make-out session with the first love I ever had. Feelings suck. She ignored what I said and she just started again. I pushed her off and ran off the bus and to the park, and just sat there looking at the sky. Can’t love just be easy?
