Illinois [#wattys2016 Writer's Debut]

Chapter One

"I can't believe you're such a stubborn person!"

"I can't believe that you still talk to him after I forgave you!"

"What about this text, huh? You've been doing the same!"

"She just needed financial help and I helped her and hooked her up with Charles who's coincidentally looking for a waiter! Don't bring this up, I'm tired of this. I told you like a million times that there isn't any woman other than you and you told me that there isn't any man other than me but you lied."

"Well, what am I supposed to do when I don't even know where my husband is most times during the day?! I get lonely and I needed someone to talk to! Where do you go off disappearing during the day?!"

"I promised that I'll tell you when the time is right and it isn't now. You have to trust me that it's for the greater good."

"How am I supposed to trust the man I married for sixteen years after finding out that there is something to question? I am sick of you hiding things away from me!"

And those screams go on and on. They think that those walls can block out their arguments that happen every night. They think that I would be asleep.

They think that I'm not listening. They think I'll be fine if I didn't know.

Well, guess what? I know what's going on and I'm not fine.

A wave of pain went surging through my body as I went back to bed and pulled my sheets up to my neck and curled myself into a ball.

*****

I woke up around five in the morning. I'm not a morning person but my body and brain will start being conscious around those times and I can't just go back and fall asleep. Falling asleep means a little lonely time with me and my thoughts. And I don't want to be alone with my thoughts.

I walked over to my desk where I turned on my laptop and played my playlist.

Rubbing my eyes, I reached for my stress-free coloring book with one more page to finish. I started to color. What I like about early morning coloring is that whenever I color, I either start in the center or in the corners. The colors would be dark to pastel but after a few layers of those, I'd pull out more defined, vibrant and bright pencil colors. I'd take my time on them. I looked back at this one, turned the lights brighter and let my eyes adjust to the brightness and all those colors. It's truly amazing how boring, empty and lifeless something was can be turned into something wonderful, interesting and colorful. Although it brings color to them, they bring no color to me.

I sighed as I put the fully-colored book in an old box filled with twenty more of those. It never works. I turned to my laptop, paused my playlist and got up and went to the kitchen downstairs while trying to not think about my body aches.

I left the lights off and let no curtains open, I have no issues with darkness, heck, I can do well with my night vision. I stretched my arm whilst grabbing the knob of a cupboard. I opened it and reached for my mug in which I took to the coffee brewer.

"Oh, you're up too."

Jumping, I looked to the island where my bigger brother sat calmly on one of the tall stools.

"You should stop scaring people while they're making coffee."

He chuckled at this, "I don't know what's funnier ; the fact that you're drinking coffee when you're not even a big fan of them or the only time I shouldn't scare people is when they're making coffee."