Knives

Chapter 17

Chapter 17:

"This feeling..." I sighed, clutching my chest. "I know this feeling."

"Light..Night." I winced. "I really...really don't like this... Why won't it just go away?"

"This heart of yours, Knives." Night thought. "Cast it away. All it does is hurt you."

"But is what the point of living-no, existing if he doesn't feel?" Light opposed.

"There would be no point." I agreed.

"Then don't live." Night suggested.

"Night!" Light scolded.

"You just gave me that one."

"You two," I interrupted, the pain growing more intense. "This hurts...so much."

"You deserve it." Night thought. "You're a terrible person. You deserve to be punished."

"So what?" I thought back. "I don't want to be punished. I don't WANT to hurt. I just want to stop feeling like this. I just don't want it. All anyone ever wants is to get what they want. Redundant, I know but everyone overlooks these simple things. They don't realize how important they are..."

"Stop thinking." Light commanded. "You'll kill yourself with these thoughts. Destroying your body is one thing but this is dangerous. This will kill a part of you that you can't ever fix. A part that matters."

"You think I don't know that?!" I yelled, delirious. "I can't stop it! It's IMPOSSIBLE." I shouted aloud, searching for a powerful word. "It's already dead." I told him, suddenly solemn. "I'm dead already, just waiting for this body to fall off. It's too bad. Most have the luxury of dying while they're still alive." Light listened in supportive pity.

"Don't pity him." Night scolded Light coldly. "It's all his fault anyway."

"How could it be his fault? All he's done is be HIM. He can't be anyone else, so he has no choice. Whatever he does, it's wrong to you. You can't blame him."

"Yes I can. Who's to say he can't be anyone else?"

"If he was anyone else, it wouldn't make any difference. He would still be someone and that someone would be him. Besides, no one could tell the difference. Maybe he is someone else. But that doesn't mean he's not the him that we know. It doesn't matter, though. He can't help it. It's just this head of his."

"If it's his head, and then it's his heart and his body doesn't matter, then what is he?"

"Who knows?" I thought. "Whatever it is, I am whatever I am. Thinking about it won't change anything."

"Right, Knives." Light soothed. "Just go to sleep. Just leave this world for a little while. You'll feel better when you get back." I obeyed, laying back down on the mat and curling up, shielding my eyes from the light seeping in through the window.

"Just go away." I wished silently. "I want to be left alone."