Of All The Things I Didn't Say

Chapter 3

Zara and I walk into English class together.
"What up Mrs. Parker", I say to our teacher and throw up a peace sign with my fingers.

"Hello to you as well, Olivia", Mrs. Parker said. Mrs. Parker is my favourite teacher, she's super slack and makes our assignments easy. I fly through this class. And I feel like a have a real connection with Mrs. Parker. She'll always ask me how I'm doing, if I'm feeling alright and asks me what's the latest gossip. I feel as if she's like a second mother to me, we just get along so well.

Zara and I sat beside each other in our desks and looked around at the rest of our class. We knew just about everyone here, and the class was fairly full.
Zara and I were just chatting about what we were going to do this weekend to celebrate about being seniors when suddenly the last person I wanted to walk in the class room, strolled right in the door way. Mason.

And of course, the only desk left open, is the one right in front of Zara. So now he has to be around me, it's bad enough that the guy I'm head over heals with is now in this class, but he also has to sit near me?!

You have got to be f-ing kidding me right now...
I texted Zara.

She replied. I know. Sorry girl. Didn't know he'd be here.

Yeah neither did I. Great, now I'll be distracted even more in this class.

"Alright class, let's just get started..." Mrs. Parker said but drifted off as she saw Mason sitting not five feet away from me. I told Mrs. Parker all about Maskn and I, so she understood what I must be going through right now.
I wasn't even sure what I was feeling right now. I didn't have any classes with him last year when we had a 'thing' so it wasn't awkward if I ever walked into class after he stopped texting me. But now... Ugh, this class is going to suck. And what's even worse...Mason doesn't seem to be bothered at all.

I wanted to scream at him. I wanted- needed, to know why he suddenly left me. Did I do something wrong? Did I not say something that he wanted to hear? Or was I simply not good enough to for him? I demanded to know these answers, but I'd never ask.
I'm afraid that he'd say, "nothing was real between us. There wasn't even an us so I'm not really sure why you're so upset". I feared that he thought that whatever we had, was nothing. So I kept the questions to myself. I guess I just like to torture myself.

Mrs. Parker looked at me, then to Mason, then quickly back at me. I shrugged my shoulders and rolled my eyes. What are we gonna do?
"We're starting this class off with poetry, and I swear if one of you writes a dirty poem. I will lose my shit".

The class burst out laughing but I stayed quiet. What was I gonna do?

~

The first week of school went by quicker than I thought it would. Mason spoke little to me, thank goodness, but I still found it super awkward. I kept stealing glances at him. We sat in the same spots. Zara asked me multiple times of we should change seats and while I should have said yes; I simply shrugged my shoulders and said, "maybe he won't sit with us today".
But he did. Everyday. Part of me was angry, I just wanted to get over him and move on with my life, but then again. He was right there, five feet away from me, arms length away. And I wanted nothing more but to just reach out and hold his hand while we worked.

Every time I stole a glance, my heart did that stupid flutter thing and I felt as if I was lost, just looking at him. He has neatly cut black hair, a beautiful face with gorgeous brown eyes. Seriously, he looked like the guys you see in the backgrounds of cute quotes on social media pages. His body was ripped and his skin was olive toned. We had lots in common. We had a swimming class together, he too played basket ball and he played piano. Like come on, he's the perfect package!