Of All The Things I Didn't Say

Chapter 4

Dinner was painfully long after I saw Mason's phone. We ordered desert but I hardly tasted my strawberry cheesecake. I was hurt beyond the point of heart break. But at the same time, I was kind of glad; I mean, I can finally move on now. Knowing that there can't be an 'us' anymore, I can move on instead of day dreaming about something that will never be real. No point in wasting my time on someone I can't have when I could be spending my time with someone I can have.

It'll be difficult to let Mason go but hey, it's for the best right? Don't even let yourself question that thought, I thought to myself. This was the best decision and that was it-plain and simple.

We each paid our separate bills and split. Zara and I got into Lucas's jeep and I gazed out the window, watching Mason climb onto his motorcycle. I almost laughed to myself, he kind of looked goofy; sitting on a motorcycle in a dress shirt and pants. But it also made him look just a tad sexy and it made me want to hit him even more. Why did he have to be so gorgeous?! Like, someone like that, should be illegal. Just saying.

As we drove home, I couldn't think of anything better but the thought of changing out of my dress into my comfy sweat-pants and into my brothers massive sweater. Curling up in bed with Zara, a tub of ice cream on our laps (even though we've already had desert but whatever) and watching a romantic movie. Yeah that sounded about right.

It didn't dawn on me until I was carefully putting away my legendary dress. My dress had failed me tonight, Mason didn't even take a good long glance at me in my dress. I sure as hell did! I was slaying tonight! Of course Ryan commented on my dress but, well that's just Ryan, that's what he does. But this dress...I would have expected something! Ugh, maybe it's time for a new dress. I'll call up squad some time and we'll go on a new shopping spree when we all get our pay checks.
I work at HomeDepot, in the paint section. It's a pretty slack job but the pay is pretty good.

We decided to pop in The Fault In Our Stars film. Great, so I'll be crying tonight too, mostly from the movie but also for personal reasons.
The film was nearly over and Zara and I were of course, bawling our faces off. Don't even try to deny it, you all have cried in this film and or book; it's natural.

When we had about twenty Kleenex's on my bed by the time Lucas decided to pop his head through my door again.
"Uh, you girls alright? All I can hear from the hallway is like, excessive crying and breathing".

"It's- it's the fault in our stars", was all I could stutter out through the tears.

"I can see that", he chuckled. "I'm just checking in".

"We're ok", Zara said while blowing her nose. "Well I am".

"Yup, that's all I needed to know", was all Lucas said before he slipped into my room, walked over to my side of the bed and laid down beside me. He didn't say anything, just sat down beside me, put his arm around me shoulders and watched the movie with us.
This was why I love my brother, he always knew what to do.

~

The three of us fell asleep on my bed after we popped in the next movie, but Lucas must have left my bedroom some time during the night because he was gone by the time Zara and I woke up. It was noon when Zara and I finished dressing and putting on little make up.
We decided to play basket ball down at the park that was a couple blocks from my house. Lucas said he'd join us so we could play a two on one.

We jogged to the park as a warm up and played some basket ball and just shot some hoops for nearly three hours.

"Alright next basket wins because I'm starving", Zara said.