Memoirs

Part Ten

I stood near the window, looking at the rain falling against it; making random shapes as the droplets decide to form into one. It was rather calm and I was glad for it, knowing that today I could stay inside my apartment all day.

A knock came from the door, I was the only one home but didn't think much of it. I quietly padded over to the door, checking the peephole to see that Harry was there with two paper cups that were most likely full of tea. I quickly unlocked the door and looked at his smile, causing me to return one.

"Hello Lily!" Harry cheerfully spoke, causing me to smile at the fact that he was such a morning person. He looked really good today.. He had on a white t-shirt that made his tattoos more prominent from underneath and his blue jeans hung rather low on his hips, showing a bit of the tattoo on his hips. His lips were a dark shade of red because of the weather and his hair was pushed back by a scarf, he was absolutely breath-taking. "Are you just going to stand there and look at me all day?" he joked and I shook my head quickly, taking a cup from him and immediately drinking it.

"Oh ew!! This is so plain!!" I squeaked, causing him to laugh.

"That's because you took mine." he smiled and graciously switched the two cups. My nose was scrunched up because I still had the aftertaste of the plain tea and quickly drank mine, smiling at the fact that it was so sweet. His smile was so wide, so genuine. I adored every bit of it.

"Oh dear, Harry come in." I spoke quickly, coming to the realization that we were still in the doorway. I closed the door as soon as he came in and we made ourselves comfortable in the living room. He looked around the room as if he's never been here before, even though he definitely has. There was something so... comforting about Harry, so inviting. But I knew that I couldn't let myself get attached, I didn't want another Rory incident to occur.

"What's your favorite fruit?" he blurted out, causing confusion in my mind. "What?" I countered back, making him laugh a bit.

"Yes, what is your favorite fruit?" he asked again. I had to think, because there were a large variety of fruit. He watched me as I thought, watching how I played with the strands of hair that were falling from my bun as I thought. "Maybe grapes. But the green ones!" I spoke proudly and it just made him laugh, as if it was something he has never heard before. "Why are you laughing?" I pouted.

This caused him to quickly come next to me and wrap his arms around me, holding me close to him. One of those "I'm sorry I was playing" hugs that I always see Liam do to Sarah. I let out a small laugh, letting him know it was okay. But he didn't full away, he only loosened his grip. This allowed me to observe him from up close. His green eyes that held small brown specs and yellow rims with hints of blue was breathtaking. He had small portions of acne of his face, but no one was perfect and it suited him well. He hadn't shaved yet so he had a bit of stubble growing and his curls perfectly hung in loose ringlets. He was beautiful. One of the most beautiful people I had ever had the privilege of laying my eyes on. I was in awe by him.

I watched as he licked his lips, causing me to look directly into his eyes. Where there was hesitation and happiness in them. His eyes flickered from my eyes to my lips and I felt him slowly lean in. I felt myself doing the same. We were centimeters apart until I heard Sarah yelling from the other side of the door that she forgot her key.

I quickly pulled away from Harry and walked to the door, my heartbeat practically going out of my chest. I opened the door for Sarah and she walked in, saying a quick hi to Harry then going into her room.

"Hey Lil, come here." Rory said softly as he pulled me into the bed of flowers. As children we had breaks, as the person that the supreme is obsessed with, I had small leeway of getting free time. Most of the kids our age did. Yet at the moment, we were sneaking around.

I lied next to him, looking at the butterflies around us. It was peaceful even though the smell of charcoal and ash filled the air. Rory sat me up and looked at me, the snow falling softly, barely reaching the ground. He looked lovely, he always did. "I want to do something for you, something that you know was done by someone who cares deeply about you, by someone who truly loves you Lil."

I was confused, I didn't understand what he was getting at. He brought me a bit closer, holding me, making me feel safe. That feeling that I always got with him. It was as if the situation we were in didn't matter. Everything always blurred around us, but maybe that was just with me. "Let me be your first kiss." he whispered, and I nodded. I was young, I knew that, but I had to grow up so quickly while I was in here that I didn't see myself to be some little girl who knew absolutely nothing. I knew of the women and girls my age being sexually harassed by the guards, I knew of the things they were enduring and I felt bad. I also felt lucky because Rory hasn't let anything happen to me.

I felt his hand softly graze my cheek, resting it there for a small amount of support. He leaned in, following with his lips slowly pressing onto my own. My entire body was covered in goosebumps, not because of the weather but because of him, because of this.

We stayed there for a while, just kissing, just trying to figure out how to do this and make it feel wonderful. It was my first time, yet I'm unaware about Rory. Maybe it was the same for him, I would never know. But he was patient, it wasn't rushed. It was us, it was Rory and myself. It was something that I would never trade for anything in the world.

I almost kissed Harry. Harry would have been the second person I had ever kissed, nonetheless, the second kiss I've ever had. The kiss I shared with Rory was a few days before we had ran, a few days before he was killed, a few days before my happiness was yanked from my grip. How would Rory feel? Knowing that I was going to kiss someone else, would he be hurt, would he care, would he be proud? I don't know and I don't know how to act but Harry makes me feel the way Rory did.

He makes me feel safe.

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IM SO SORRY FOR THE WAIT. Guys I've been so busy with school. We had spirit week and I got wait listed by the college I really wanted to go to and it was all so so stressful.
But I'm going to start updating more, I'm on Spring break so I have a few days to spare. I'll make sure to put in a chapter or two to make up for lost time.
I love you all x