Saved by Niall Horan (a niall horan fan fiction)

Chapter 16

As we approach the boys home, nervousness consumes me with each and every step.

tick, tock the seconds fly by before we are at the front door. Niall reaches his hand forward to turn the knob and I take a deep breathe, feeling more uneasy than ever. Taking our first steps into the house, everything is dead silent. That is until we walk into the living room and everyone is wearing a blank expression. No one even notices we are back.

"uh um" Niall clears his throat, attempting to draw their attention. It worked. Every single head snapped up except for Louis', who is probably too ashamed to look up. Im not sure to feel guilty or happy that he feels bad for what he did but I will just have to wing it from here.

"Thank god you are back" Harry says relieved and hugs me, which all the boys follow in doing. Louis being the last, he gives me a short hug before returning to his original spot on the couch. I guess I would be embarrassed too.

I take a seat on the couch and everything is silent until I hear a slow whisper.

"why" it asked. I took a deep breath and exhaled sharply. Not sure who it came from, I turn my head to see Louis staring at me intently waiting for my answer.

"what exactly do you want to know?" I ask nervously trying to avoid the subject.

"Why do you cut yourself. Starve yourself. Make yourself purge. What caused you to hate yourself this much?" Louis asks, his tone getting stronger and louder with each word.

"me." I say barely below a whisper.

"What do you mean?" Zayn asks softly, trying to understand my twisted mind.

"I hate myself so much I am willing to do these things. Yes, maybe I hate myself so much because of bullies and my parents, but in the end, I brought the razor to MY skin, I starved MYSELF and I MADE myself purge. That's why im so fucked up. I have thoughts and voices in my head 24/7 yet no one notices. I am just a burden to everyone and I don't deserve to live !" i say. By the end i was screaming on the top of my lungs and everyone was staring at me wide eyed.

Falling to the floor, i begin to cry hysterically and trace my finger over my wrist, a bad habit of mine. People are talking to me but i try my hardest to block it out. Laying down, i close my eyes and my mind clouds with thoughts of selfharm and suicide. i cant take it anymore. i scream, loud. hoping it will release my pain but all i get is startled boys staring at me.

Opening my eyes, i ignore all of their faces and run upstairs crawling under the covers of my bed. Crying uncontrollably, my last thought is why am i still here? before i drift off to sleep.

AN- wow guys lol i know that most likely sucked but i wanted to update right this second because i had so many thoughts running through my mind i figured i might as well write. so yea same as always, please give me feedback and COMMENT. barely anyone does anymore ): so yea love you guys xx