Snap! That was most likely the sound of my father coming. He always walked around with that whip of his, whirling it around to try and scare me. He just doesn't understand- I'm broken, not normal any longer. My days of singing "somewhere over the rainbow" are over. I'm not scared anymore, he just wants to believe that I am for his own selfish pleasure. A typical man.
"Aphmau get your ass over here!" My fa- no, my abuser called out.
I walked over to man who was calling my name."Whatever is it that you want, father?" I said sweetly.
"I got a call from your school today. They said you tried to scare some freshman by showing them all your scars, telling them that you would chase them if they told anybody. You know what happens when you are a bad girl, right?" He said, cracking the whip once more.
"Y-" before I could finish, he hit me on my arm with the whip.Just because it didn't scare me doesn't mean it didn't hurt. Over and over again until my vision went blurry and I fainted.
-------
I woke up in the same room I was in before fainting. It was really dark in here, but I like the dark. It's too bad I can't stay here though. Why do I have to go to school? I mean don't get me wrong, I love the lessons and the teachers. It's just the students that drive me to the point of insanity. Their endless jests towards those who don't belong. I don't belong there. All the girls talking about love and who their boyfriend is. I'm finicky with love. I don't believe in it as much as I believe in demons. One of my favorite quotes from "Alice in Wonderland" talks about insanity.
We're all insane. Those who think otherwise are delusional
Beautiful. It's what I live by. What keeps me insane. I like being insane, it means I don't have to deal with anyone because they avoid me. People who know me don't know what goes on at home, they see what's on the inside, and that's the ugly part. The ones who don't know me, give up on trying to. That's how this world is, make choices quickly, or you'll never have the chance to again.
I leaned down to look at my watch. 11:36 pm. Well, I guess I should fix up my arm, huh? I got up and headed towards the door, slowly turning the knob to find it locked. There is no way I'm gonna stay in this room all night. I searched through the room, trying to find something to pick the lock. I found a screw near the window seal and use the edge to pick the lock. I run towards the bathroom, locking the door behind me. I walk towards the sink and grab a paper towel, wetting it with water. I gently dab the wound and clean it. I look under the sink and grab the peroxide. I apply it to my arm, enjoying the stinging sensation coming from the wound. I left the wound open so it could air out, besides I kind of like the pain, it gives my brain something else to focus on besides the burning passion to want to just run away. I ran to my bedroom remembering something my father had told me."I beat you because I love you, it's for your own good." Those words made me sing my favorite song over and over again.
Song: Sarcasm by Get Scared
You've got me shaking from the way you're talking
My heart is breaking but there's no use crying
What a cyanide surprise you have left for my eyes
If I had common sense I'd cut myself or curl up and die
Sticks and stones could break my bones
But anything you say will only fuel my lungs
Don't mind us we're just spilling our guts
If this is love I don't wanna be loved
You pollute the room with a filthy tongue
Watch me choke it down so I can throw it up.
Don't mind us we're just spilling our guts
If this is love I don't wanna be hanging by the neck
Before an audience of death.
You could be the corpse and I could be the killer
If I could be the devil, you could be the sinner
You could be the drugs and I could be the dealer
Everything you say is like music to my ears
You could be the corpse and I could be the killer
If I could be the devil, you could be the sinner
You could be the drugs and I could be the dealer
Everything you say is like music to my, music to my ears
YOU ARE READING
Descending into the Depths of Despair//Aarmau FF
Fiksi PenggemarAphmau grew up with a bad childhood, even so she still is going through that now. She has been tortured and abused, bullied and mocked, no friends in sight. But when a new kid comes to her rescue, it's as if there is finally a little light in her da...
