Big Brother Barakat (Jalex)

Thanks To You (Alex's POV)

Big brother? I had heard the term only a few times before. This Jack, this person I barely knew, had volunteered to be someone I could rely on. He did so without knowing me at all. How could he even think for one second that I would open up to him? I felt ... taken advantage of, played, fooled. I knew Peggy had set this all up out of the goodness of her heart, but I honestly wanted nothing to do with it.

I turned my back on all of them, heading back up the stairs to my room. I began to hear Peggy protest, but I ignored her. I quickly closed the door behind myself, sitting on the edge of my bed, bringing my knees to my chin. I tried not to let my emotions get the best of me, since I had never let people see any other side to me other than the norm. But, before I knew it, hot tears were making their way down my cheeks. I quickly wiped them away as fast as they came, not wanting to face the fact that I felt cared about, that I felt like a human for once.

As a child, I learned to shut my emotions down. Mum never cared, dad was never in my life; I didn't have people to rely on. I learned that at a very young age, and it stuck with me through my teenage years, so far, anyway. The fact that someone could even consider caring about me made me want to run away, made me want to scream, to yell at them to not waste their time on me. I never saw myself as worth anything, especially as someone to care about. My own parents didn't even care about me enough to stay in my life or do what was best for me, and because of that, trust with others had been ruined for what I thought would be forever.

-

A soft knock. A soft knock followed by a small, yet manly voice. I assumed it was this Jack, this person who expected more out of me than I was willing to give. He had asked if he could come in, and though I was hesitant, I wiped my eyes and opened the door, immediately closing it behind him. Before he could get a word out, I had pushed him against the door, my strength stronger than I had remembered. I threatened him, telling him I thought he was insane if he thought I would ever open up to him. He stood there surprisingly calm, seeming to take in everything I was saying as he was still pressed against my door. 

Tears threatened to spill down my cheeks again, but I held them back, not trusting myself to show emotion in front of a complete stranger. Jack seemed to understand everything I was going through, though he didn't say so. And, after staring at him for a few seconds more, I released my arm from his chest and took my place back on my bed.

He didn't sit next to me. In fact, he stayed near the door, respecting my space. He didn't say much at first, but when he did, when I really heard him speak in full sentences for the first time, I had to admit it was somewhat comforting. The way he said things calmed me down quickly, though I was still upset about the whole situation. And, after a short while, he sat next to me on my bed, and I didn't think twice about it.

"I know you're feeling scared and vulnerable at the moment, Alex, and I'm not here to pressure you into anything, but what I am here for is to be someone you can trust. Not today, but maybe someday. I like you, you seem like a good person, even with everything you've gone through," he explained, and I assumed Peggy had given him at least a little insight as to what happened to me. "Alex, you can tell me anything you'd like. I've convinced Peggy to let you have this phone," he said, handing me an old flip phone. "so that way, if you ever need anything, you can reach me. My number's already in there, and if you don't want to text, I'm at the hostel just a few blocks away. I don't expect you to open up to me at first, if even at all, but I hope that someday you'll be able to trust me enough to let me see the real Alex."

And with that, he patted my arm and left my room, leaving me with this phone in my lap.