Letting Loose

Chapter 11

It has been three long days since I have last seen Daniel.
He hadn't bothered coming over since I rudely kicked him out. I have to admit, that I already felt pretty bad after he left, but the bad feeling got even worse when I kept finding warm meals on my porche. Two days ago he had even stuck a note to the chickensoup pot. It said that I should not forget to drink enough water and to take my medication.

I know I was totally anti pills, but I got to learn the hard and painfull way that I needed them.
As to the nightmares, they had not stopped. Actually they have gotten a lot worse by now. I would wake up totally frightened and then have a hard time falling asleep again. The only way out of this awfulness was music that was louder than my thoughts and a book that would take me to a new reality. 

Yesterday I called the library owner, Mr. Lawson. I should have started working for him about a week ago. He totally understood when I explained to him what happened and he was kind enough to tell me he'd hold the spot free for me. So now my first day at work would be in six days.

Right now it was about 6 a.m. and my anxiety had just started to die down. I was sitting in the cold on the steps that lead up to my front door.  

I had woken up feeling like someone was watching me, which made me sprint down, mentally high-fiving myself for taking two painkillers before heading to sleep a few hours ago. I ran out of the house, only wearing a thin layer of clothing and no shoes. Thinking about it now, it must have looked pretty weird for anyone passing by, seeing a girl in pyjamashorts, a worn out shirt and long socks.
After standing outside for what seemed like forever, not noticing any movement in the hose, I sat on the frontsteps, putting my head in my hands and trying to calm my breathing. My heart was pumping a marathon in my chest, making me worry about the possibility of it jumping out. 
I sat like that for about three hours until the darkness of the night was replaced with the brightness of the new day. 

I guess that there is a possibility of no one actually being in the house. But thinking that was the easy part. Actually understanding and believing it is hard as hell. And that was the explanation as to why my butt was still seated on the cold step.
I didn't want to seem desperate, but right now it would be perfect if someone could go in and check the house for intruders.

With this thought in mind I took my phone, which I had grabbed while escaping the house and called Anna, who answered my call surprisingly fast. 

"Charlotte Kathleen Headey you stupid irresponsible bitch! I was worried sick about you. Where the hell are you? Were you kidnapped? Oh my god, is that even Charlotte? Are you the kidnapper? I will kill you, if you have touched my best friend. I swear to rip out your heart and feed it to Edward Cullen."
If I let her go on for a little longer, my ears are going to be damaged for the rest of my existence. " Anna, Anna calm down. It's me..." But of course Anna did not calm down. If anything she actually was far more hyper now. "Are you okay? Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Tell me where you are right now. I will come right away." And this is exactly why I just adore her. She would seriously drive all the way here at 6 a.m. on a saturday. 

After giving her the adress I decided that I should let my eyes rest a little. So I closed them and let myself fall asleep.

You know this fall you imagine while falling asleep? The one that makes your heart jump out of your chest and adrenaline pump through your veines. Well that  is not exactly what happened to me. I didn't just imagine falling, I actually did fall back and something heavy right on top of me. Quickly opening my eyes I saw Anna above me, hugging the life out of me. "Can't ........ breathe." I pushed her off, already feeling my ribs ache again. "What on earth are you doing here? Why weren't you at your brothers funeral? Why do you look like you are dying?" She stepped forward with a concerned look grabbing my face and turning it left and right. "You are not dying, are you?" I took her hands into mine, trying to get her to calm down, "Anna, please calm down a little. I am not dying. I am just in pain. If you don't mind, please come with me to the inside. I have been sitting in the cold for way too long." My eyes scanned her face, checking if it was safe to let her hands go. "I will let you go now and then we go in. I promise  to tell you everything then. Alright? Can I let go now?" Nodding her head while obviously struggling to not have a rainbow of words shine out of her mouth again,she followed me into the house. Although I was still a little hesitant about going in, I just went in, having more confidence since I wasn't alone anymore.

We went to sit in the living room after I had taken my pills and gotten comfortable on the couch with some blankets and pillows and a cup of hot chocolate for each of us. This absolutely peacefull moment brought back memories of how and who I used to be. 

I could sense from the look on her face that Anna was about to explode into a river of words again if I didn't start telling her all about what happened with me the last few days. Taking a deep breath I started talking. What I had not known yet was, that I would feel so much better after finally saying everything that happened out loud . I told her about my brothers death and how my mom didn't seem to care, about the robery and how Daniel saved my life that day. And then I told her about Daniel. How nice he is to me although he doesn't really know me and although I have mastered to mostly be rude to him.
"Okay, okay wait a second. Just to make sure I understand. So your mom seriously went on her own sons funeral all dressed up in white and planning on flirting with some dude?" She made a disgusted face before looking like she felt sorry for me. "Well, it seems like that is exactly what happened."
I didn't even feel ashamed admitting what my mom did. After all Anna has been my best friend for about ten years now. She knows pretty much everything about me and my family. She was there for me when dad died and my entire personality dropped from extremely hyper and happy to mostly numb and not interested in anything that involved happiness. Through all of this Anna did not once leave my side. No matter how much I pushed her away, she would stay. Basically that girl is the definition of a human-angel. I remember when we were 13.  A girl pushed her at school and Anna started crying. Not because she fell and hurt herself, but because the girl got punished. Anna is just too nice. Sometimes even too nice for her own good.
I waited for her to react a little more Anna like, but she didn't. Instead there was this sudden huge grin on her face. Wiggling her eyebrows she changed the subject. "So Charles, what is it with that hot, caring neighbour of yours? Do I need to get a background check on my future brother in law?" I could swear that I knew she'd say that. "Anna, you know I am not at all interested in any kind of relationship at the moment. Plus since Zach....." I was interrupted by the ringing of my doorbell. This must be my breakfast delivered by Daniel. 
I haven't caught him putting the meals on my doorstep the past few days.
Anna surprised me with a squeal, rushing to open the door. She had already opened the door by the time I caught up with her. And let me tell you, the scenario in front of me would have been hilarious if I wasn't waiting for my painkillers to finally kick in.

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I must say, I really do like this chapter. I am not quite sure why yet, but it got me wrapped around it's little finger. I notice how I am totally falling in love with my characters like they are my children. You could say I actually feel protactive over Charlotte by now.

Anyways, I hope you liked this one. :)

Love, Jasmin <3