Hate that I love you

Prologue

Trigger Warning: Mentions of self harm, homophobic slurs and suicide. My intentions are not to offend anyone or hurt anyone in anyway throughout the book, and I'd only be putting this here, so please read with full caution.

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The sun slowly sunk down the horizon, creating a beautiful medley of colors on the skies, and brought a gentle touch to the city. Shadows of different sizes slowly formed out on every object, shrinking until darkness completely falls over the borough, before bright lights once again formed another. There was a sense of tranquility in the atmosphere amidst the bustling city below her and Camila couldn't help the smile that formed on her lips upon looking up at the night sky.

It was an idyllic sight she'd make sure to be embedded in her mind, that, if she'd ever remember.

The serene vibe the atmosphere put out was certainly ironic, a complete contrast to the tempestuous thoughts that was currently raging inside her mind as she stood high above the ground, her Nike shoe clad feet seemingly incapacitated and stuck to the surface, likely having its kind of it's own and refused to comply with her mind's wishes.

Ergo, Camila stayed put and let's her dark waves dance freely with the gusts of wind; A picture gripped tightly by her hand, crushing it under the pressure— a memory, a dream turned into a reality, to a nightmare. Camila would occasionally tighten and loosen her hold, as if she couldn't make up her mind.

Treasure it or burn it into nothingness? it was obscure.

Simply thinking about the events that had happened in the past months made her head reel and as she momentarily casts her eyes to the city below her, her stomach tying up into knots and her heart beating erratically inside her chest in agitation;

Just then, Her minds drifts to Lauren. Lauren. Lauren. Lauren.

The thing is, Camila hated Lauren.

She hated seeing that beautiful smile on her stupid gorgeous face, her laughter that had never failed to leave her heart beating abnormally inside her chest, never failed to awaken the entire zoo in her stomach, leave her speechless. When her silky long brown waves cascades down her shoulders and back and how her breath hitches when Lauren reaches up to run her hand through it, throwing it over to one side — Camila hated the strong urge of wanting to run her hand through it herself.

Camila hated how expressive her eyes were and hated how it changes colour every so often based on her emotions; from the color of the remains of burnt ashes, to the deepest part of ocean tinted with light specks of gold and vibrant green that reminds her of the beginning of spring.

Chains wrapped around her heart, with its other end gripped by Lauren's hand, tethering it, almost suffocating it and Lauren was oblivious to it all.

Camila hated that she loved her.

She thinks long and hard, wondered how she got to this spectrum of her life. The strong whooshing sound of the wind almost drowned out the commotion on the streets and she could faintly hear the muffled sounds of the music blasting through the speakers a floor below her, but none of those mattered anymore.

Camila takes a deep breath, closed her eyes and relaxed her tensed shoulders.

It was pathetic, really.

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A/N: so you see, I've decided to rewrite this book like, DAYS ago, but just finished this chapter recently because I couldn't make up my mind on how to start the story, but here it is!
(Cover was beautifully made by majestic-lxgic  THANK YOU!!)

I've made MAJOR changes in how the story flows but the plot, is still, sort of the same. (And I realized that I never plan out my books so like you know what)

Anyways, Should I continue? Are y'all still interested? Pls let me know, comment and vote, tanks you. I hope y'all are not tired of me yet

P.S the TRIGGER WARNING implies throughout the entire book, so again, please read with caution and be good to yourselves 💙

P.P.S really slow updates, peaz✌️

— Aria xx