Hate that I love you

x

To think that Lauren used to know the depths of Camila's mind, every corner in any way, to think that keeping secrets from each other was out of the option - merely to be reminded that this wasn't the case, was quite.. disappointing.

She couldn't recall anything she could've done to drive Camila away- It just happened, in the midst of their years in high school. Lauren felt the shift, no matter how small it was. Camila was becoming distant, little by little, but she'd felt it. She wasn't oblivious to that, and it hurt her how much Camila didn't trust her enough with the thoughts that plagued her mind so much to that point that she's pushing everyone away around her.

Or specifically Lauren.

To the point where Lauren would see her from afar, no longer adorning those vibrant brown eyes that brought this warmth to her chest and that smile that was so familiar, but simultaneously now so unfamiliar. A melancholic aura surrounded her and Lauren could no longer bring herself to come up to her and not feel so hesitant and reluctant. She'd have to walk on thin ice every single day, like Camila was such a fragile being and one wrong move could bring her to her breaking point.

She knows she had a huge role in this, but talking it out with Camila seemed to be impossible. She didn't know how to act on it.

She puts her phone down after awhile, gives her house one last glance before driving out of there leisurely. She wasn't going to stop Camila from hanging out with her new found friends, but she wasn't going to deny this was new and something she wasn't used to.

Camila going out of her house in the middle of the night wasn't anything new, though. Just, well, her making friends. The girl often liked to get some fresh air and walk around their neighborhood alone.

"A talk?" Lauren muttered. Camila doesn't trust her. She thinks she'll leave her. Lauren might've made things worse for not speaking to her recently, she upset her, but she did speak to her earlier to let her know she's still, well, her friend.

Lauren needed space, and she had it. So now she's going to make sure they're actually going to talk. Not those pointless talks and pretend that everything is fine when it clearly isn't.

Or Maybe Camila wasn't even planning to talk about- whatever the hell is happening between them. She was never quite the type to deal with confrontations. While Lauren was used to venting out, Camila has a penchant for bottling it all up in that head of hers. Lauren wondered how she could hold it all in, but she knows Camila would eventually snap with the way she deals with things.

The question was a matter of when. She can't just smile it all away, can she? It's too easy.

So, yes, Lauren's going to talk to her. It's most likely going to make Camila extremely uncomfortable, but if they want to take this elephant in the room out of the way, one of them at least has to do something.

-

Camila stared at the girl standing before her, eyes boring into those brown orbs and lips curled into a deep frown; Her hair, her dress, her eyes, her body. Everything about her. It irked her a bit how she couldn't seem to be pleased with how she looked. She just didn't appeal to anyone's eyes. Not even her own.

But she tries to look decent anyway- Presentable. It wasn't like she had anybody to impress- Just herself, and maybe a few other certain and important people (she fails at all of that, too).

It was the kind of look where she was ordinary enough, blend in with the rest of the crowd; No eyes would turn her way, no second glances and certainly not because of how pretty she is nor horrendous. (Though, the latter seemed to be doubtful.)