Happiness

Lost

Happiness by definition is a state of being happy

I long for that state

I miss that state and in this world I feel as if the loneliness plagues my heart

The dark thoughts I have rip at my soul

Creating a lost section of me

I've been searching for me in the vast ocean of my mind

Slowly drowning

Sinking to the bottom only to end up on dry land

Still lost in something I don't understand

And everything comes into the fore view of my psyche

Taking me down to the depths of hell where my heart lies and I cry out for it to return

I cry for my heart to feel the happiness I long for

I pray that I can feel the light

It's hard to believe in god when the times I've called him he didn't answer

The times I was near the end of it all I used everything I could to keep myself from falling

All the times I was scared to lose my soul

I lost my mind trying to save it

I cry at this moment to feel that clarity of pain

I write to release this pain

I cry to recall my life is worthy of living

I forget to be human sometimes and it burns me

Despite the lack of fire in me

The definition of happiness means nothing to me because I cannot feel it

In reality Happiness exists if a distant land for me

Unwilling to give me the location

Or let me visit