the dead poet's lover

tried

i have tried to understand
the reason why i feel
as though my soul has left me.
even if the sun shines
on a bright, summer day
i am a rain cloud among the crowd.

i have tried to run away
from the thoughts i have kept at bay.
but they come at midnight,
and sometimes on the afternoon
to keep me in their fight
over who listens to who.

i try not to listen
to all the things i always hear
but somehow, they keep coming
and they whisper harsh things in my ear.

i should stop trying

for it will be the death of me.

(m.m)