A Lily For Joshua

Chapter 7: The Sadness

Chapter 7: The Sadness

I love Lily. I've loved her from the moment she said my whole name that first day we met. So last night when I made her promise to never forget me, I know she was confused. And, to be honest, I was, too. I don't know what made me say it. I just had a feeling that I needed to make sure she never forgot me. And, I guess this is why. Right now, I'm sitting in heaven. I see lots of people I know, and many people I don't. I see one woman that looks a lot like Lily and her Aunt Jenn. I'm only guessing her to be Lily's mum. I don't know what happened. One minute I was riding my motorbike, on my way to get chocolate for Avie from Lily's and the next thing I know something hit me, then I hit the ground, and now I'm here. I look around. It's all fluffy and white, like clouds. I see a mirror in the ground, so I go and look. It was empty but now I can see Lily, her Aunt Jenn, and my Aunt Josie. Yes, Mrs. Couley is my aunt. She's my mum's little sister. But I am so confused. I can't hear anything. Suddenly the volume turns up.

"No, no, no..." I hear Lily saying. She's trying not to panic, so she's breathing. I taught her that.

I told her, "If you ever have to panic or stress, instead, breathe deeply. In and out, over and over. Deep breaths." We practiced for hours the correct way to take deep breaths until she got it. I watch her again.

"No, no, he can't be dead! Mummy!" She wailed. It made me cry, so I think of Eli. I see him sitting next to my body in the hospital. I guess I died in the hospital. He's got tears running down his face. I can hear him sob, and I think of Avie next. She's still in the hospital, but James and Jacob are with her.

"Where's Joshua?" She asked. "He promised he'd bring me chocolates." I stifle a sob. I was on my way to get her chocolates last night so I could head straight over in the morning with Lily. Jacob says something quietly and her face turns pallor.

"No, he, he can't be," she said. James says something and she shakes her head.

"No, he can't be!" She says loudly, with finality in her voice. She starts to sob, and James holds her in his arms. Despite the sadness of the situation, I smile a little. I always knew they would be together. Avie is now sobbing, so I think of my mum and dad. And then I turn the mirror off, because my mum is crying and sobbing so hard, it hurts to watch. I meander a little, watching other people, some who have obviously been there for a long time, and others who have not. I sit down on a bench and start to sob. I can't believe my life is over. I mean, yes, I've got the afterlife and stuff, but I hadn't even turned sixteen yet. Lily was going to be my first date. And I wanted to baptize her. Yes, I know what her gift was going to be. Aunt Josie told me. Lily tells Aunt Josie and Jenn everything. And so now I sob, because the girl I had been hoping I could get to fall for me will never fall for me.