forbidden - chris beck

Chapter 28

Just as things started to improve. Just as everyone seemed to be getting back to normal, everything came crashing down once more. We thought there could be nothing worse than loosing a crewman. But there was, and that was leaving him alone, on a planet, alive.

Of course Lewis was taking the news terribly. She repeatedly blamed herself for the whole endeavour. Everyone else was... coping.

It became increasingly difficult when we received individual messages from Watney. One thing that made us smile was the fact that his humour still remained, even in the most hostile and brutal place. In my message, he mainly spoke about our times together and how he hoped that I get everything I want from life. As well as that, he told me about the advice he gave to Beck and how mine and Johanssen's posters will be on the back of teenage boys' doors. I was just glad to have an almost goodbye from him, but nobody could deny the fact that it only made us feel ten times worse.

Ever since we got the news, everyone became immensely engrossed in their work. Meal times were short and quiet, bed times were earlier and the ship had an eery silence about it.

Me and Martinez were checking the flight coordinates for the journey home one afternoon. It was one of the dullest jobs that you could do on the ship, but I guess it had to be done eventually.

"I feel like I'm committing the worst crime in history." Martinez sighed as he rubbed his forehead before looking back at the screen in front of him.

"Why? What's wrong?" I looked away from my screen as my eyes scanned his for any indication as to what he was talking about.

"We're practically paving our way home while Watney is... Well that's the thing. What exactly is he doing down there?"

"I guess he's just processing." I struggled to find the right words to say. We hadn't really spoken about this and honestly, I never knew what to say in bad situations, but nothing prepared me for talking about my friend who we left on Mars.

"It just doesn't feel right." He turned to look at me.

"I don't think it ever will. But despite what's happened, we need to finish this mission. For him."

He nodded and wore a melancholy expression as he resumed back to the coordinates.

"Hey, any of you guys want coffee? I'm heading down to get down to get some." Beck's tired voice approached from behind us as I felt his presence peering over my shoulder at my screen.

"No thanks." I turned and gave him a small smile to which he returned.

"Martinez?" Beck looked over at his friend.

"I'll get it." He stood up from his chair, "You always get my sugar consistency wrong." He smirked at Beck. "You want the usual?"

Beck nodded in response and shoved his hands into his pockets as Martinez fetched the coffee.

"So flight coordinates huh?" He awkwardly rocked back and forth on heels. "That's interesting."

I couldn't stop the small laugh that escaped my lips as he tried to make small talk. It was the first time I'd let my self laugh in a while.

He smiled as he saw my reaction and relaxed a little.

"I'm shamefully using work as my distraction." I ran a hand through my hair to move it out of my face.

"I have a few distractions of my own." After spending this much time with him, I still couldn't control the blush that appeared on my cheeks whenever he looked at me so intensely.

Without allowing me to formulate a response, he walked closer to my chair and leaned forward so that his face was at the same level as mine and was only inches away.

"I can't stop thinking about how I want to kiss you." With each next word, he inched even close. "Again... And again..." He licked his lips and looked down at my own until our noses were practically touching. "... And again." He whispered. I felt his warm breath on my lips and it took all my strength not to lean forward and pull him against me, but I seemed to be frozen in the moment.

My fantasy abruptly ended when he cleared his throat and stood back up.
"So the results from the plant regrowth completely went against our predictions, meaning I had to write a whole new hypothesises."

I looked up at him with a confused expression. Why was he suddenly taking about his work? Then Martinez came striding in with two cups of coffee on his hand, one in which he handed to Beck. I'm glad his senses were alert, because everything had felt utterly silent to me.

Luckily, Martinez didn't notice the redness of my face and immediately resumed to his work.

After thanking Martinez for the coffee and claiming that he had to get back to work, Beck gave me a quick wink before walking off back to his lab. He had no idea the effect he had on me.

~

Later that day, I spent a decent amount of time with Johanssen in the gym. We were well into our workout when Vogel asked her to help him with an email or something. I want really paying attention.

However, I managed to pick up on some of the words over the noise of the treadmill. There was something about Vogel's children and wife and then another thing about a jpeg. But what caught my attention was the sudden interest in the new file that was opened up. I heard something about a course manoeuvre and immediately hopped off the treadmill. Seeing as I'd been working on the coordinates all day, I needed to know if any changes were being made.

As I walked up to where they were standing and looked up at the screen with the email on, I saw nothing but I bunch of code which I couldn't make out the meaning of. Johanssen seemed to have same idea as she asked Vogel if any of it made sense to him.

After reading it closely, he took a step back and exclaimed, "Mein Gott!"