Talk Me Down | Josh Dun

0.6

❁

So if you don't mind, I'll walk
that line.

"I texted Gale late the night before the 18th of that same month to reassure myself that she was going to see me early the next morning for a birthday party that my friends had insisted on throwing me, but she never gave an answer.

She messaged me saying that she wanted to hear my voice, so I called; it was habitual. It was just something we did. She would ask for me to read or simply rant to her- she liked to hear me speak, and although I couldn't understand it I did it anyway.

Stuck on the bridge between us.

I rambled on for a while about how unnecessary the party was, about not wanting to become a year older and teased Gale about her liking older men a-and it was all good, but then there was a sudden crashing noise, a sound that dictated cracking and breaking. Then there was nothing coming on from the other end.

Her breathing wasn't even present and that should've warned me. I should've known, but I didn't.

Gray areas and expectation.

I tried not to think too much of it. She would've sent me a message if it had been something serious, but we all know that for me to stop her wasn't what Gale was looking for.

She always mentioned about wanting to be the first one to ever tell me happy birthday so I figure I would surprise her and show up at her apartment that night before twelve. So, yes, I drove over there so she could say happy birthday to me, but only because she had nagged me about it for so long.

But I'm not the one if we're honest.

When the soft knocks weren't answered, I used the spare key that I owned to open up the front door. When I found her she was laying there, on my side of the bed resting around all of my favourite pillows. The sheets were a soft velvety red that she only used in special occasions, so ,naturally, I laid down next to her. Gale's hair was fanned over the dark pillows in gentle waves, her eyes shut tightly. I nuzzled close to her, grazing lips over her exposed neck with gentle kisses and sweet words.

But she never answered.

After the specialists that were on scene out the pieces together they found that she had written the words, 'SPEAK UP GALE' over the mirror with red lipstick; her favourite, as well as mine. It was later on found that she had broken the mirror with the same tube of lipstick she used with the writing, the shards of glass to mutilate her bloody arm.

But I wanna sleep next to you.

Everyone talks about how sad it was that she died such a terrible death, but I find myself repulsed at the way they treated her when she was living. She finally silenced the voices that screamed loudly sometime in the middle of June that year, but in turn silenced her own.

This might not make sense to many of you because all you know - all you care about is that she was mute.

And I wanna come home to you.

She was a person. One that listened because she couldn't voice anything at all. However, what you don't see is that much like all of us she had inner thoughts; aren't those the ones that really count?

I wanna hold hands with you.

She had a favourite colour, a favourite memory, season, food. She liked to feel the bass from our music, slam poetry, and holding hands - she was a person and she mattered, all of her mattered.

I wanna be close to you.

I'm just the drummer. It's not like I can play as many instruments as Tyler or sing like he can. People forget that I am there - people forget that I exist because they can't hear me.

But that doesn't mean I don't matter.

But I wanna sleep next to you.

Just because you couldn't hear her it didn't mean that she didn't matter to me."

And that's all I wanna do right now.

The End