zeroyalchaos

11: Words are hard

Chilled:

"Hey buddy I've got something to tell you too." He replied, nervously running a hand through his hair.

"Sure, you can go first." Steven responded, his calm voice and tentative smile relieving some of Anthony's concerns, helping to put him slightly more at ease.

"Steven I, um," he started trying to confess to him how he felt, before quickly losing his nerve under Stevens steadfast gaze "I talked to el moustachio today and he said I will probably be let back into my apartment tonight." He ended with a tight smile, internally berating himself for not being able to go with the confession he had been planning since he'd left the apartment earlier that morning.

"El moustachio?" Steven questioned with a raised brow, amusement clear in his voice.

"Oh that fireman dude with the moustache." He said with a slightly self-conscious blush. "But that's not actually what I wanted to talk about." He sighed. Steven looked at him expectantly as he waited for him to continue, but all Anthony could do try to gesture with his hands since all the words he wanted to say felt like they were trapped inside his chest.

Sensing his difficulty Steven grabbed one of his waving hands, his grip warm and comforting as he pulled him along with him away from the doorway and into the living room. Steven let him go once they reached it so he could go fiddle with the lock on the balcony doors, gesturing for him to follow once he had gotten them open.

After a quick hi to Smarty who was on the couch watching tv, he followed Steven out onto the balcony, closing the door behind him after hearing Smarty's 'go get 'em tiger'. The balcony itself was very tiny, just barley large enough to hold the cheap plastic table and pair of deck chairs on either side of it. Steven was already in the furthest chair, gesturing for him to sit in the other before turning back to look out onto the street below.

Sitting down Anthony also looked out over the street, a comfortable silence settling over them as he tried to gather his thoughts. He didn't realize that he had zoned out watching the cars go by until he got snapped out of it by the sound of Steven humming. He turned to Steven who was still looking over the street as he continued the vaguely familiar tune. He felt a rush of gratitude towards him realizing that this was exactly what he had needed. He continued to gaze at Steven, taking in the way the sunlight made a sort of glowing halo around his messy curls and made his pale skin practically glow as he sat serenely, looking both mundane and part of this world but also ethereal and other worldly. In that moment he swore Steven was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen, rivaling anything else he'd ever seen.

Decision made he cleared his throat, the sound making Steven turn towards him with a slight smile and the question of 'are you ready now?' in his eyes. With a deep breath he placed his hands palm down on the table between them to ground himself before staring directly into Stevens eyes.

"Steven despite everything that's happened, these past couple days have been some of the best that I can remember. In fact, I'm kinda happy my floor got set on fire, because it's the reason I got to meet you, although I probably shouldn't say that since they're still looking for whoever set it, but anyway, I just want you to know that no matter what happens next I'm just grateful that I got to spend this time with you." He sighed and looked down at his hands, watching the patterns his fingers traced across the smooth surface of the table instead of looking at Steven, afraid of what he'd see as he continued. "Ze buddy I like you, as more than just friends... I know you may not feel the same way, hell maybe you won't want to see me anymore after this but I had to tell you, on the off chance that someone like you might like someone like me too. I know this is pretty quick, but after last night I just felt like I needed to tell you. You don't have to respond right now we could just pretend I never said anything, or if you really want I can leave."

He continued to watch his hands movements while he waited for the verdict, until they were stopped by Steven taking them in his own. "Anthony" Steven said softly, waiting until he looked up at him, giving a small smile before continuing. "I don't want you to leave" he soothingly rubbing his thumbs across the others hands. "Do you want to go out with me? For dinner I mean, we should celebrate you getting your apartment back right?"

He felt a sting of disappointment at the second part of what Steven said, but his happiness about the rest more than made up for it so he nodded his agreement.