Not part of the plan.

History - Chapter 9

"Are you going to thank me for feeding you?" Harry teased. "Harry, please tell me how you know my last name." I begged. I chose to drop my last name when I moved to Washington my sophomore year of high school. I don't like the memories it holds. I don't like where it came from and who gave it to me. Nobody should know my last name especially in California. 

"We're begging now?" he joked and took another bite of his burger. I hadn't eaten anything. It wasn't a joke. I began to get angry. "Harry so help me God.." "Relax Ryan, I'll tell you in the car. Unless you would like me to announce it here." "No." I sat and waited for Harry to finish eating. I pulled my wallet out ready to pay for my half of the bill that I didn't even eat. "What are you doing?" Harry asked me. "I'm paying for my food." I stated, he took the bill and stuck a card in. "How much was my food?" "Dunno, didn't look." I'll just look when she brings his card back and give him the money in the car I decided. 

The waitress brung Harry his card back and he slipped it in his wallet, he grabbed the ticket and shoved it in his pocket. "Harry let me pay for my food, I didn't even touch it." "Ryan, I got it." I sighed not feeling like arguing and grabbed my purse to walk out. I was not in the mood for his games. Him mentioning my last name brought back horrible memories. I couldn't stop the images that were filling my brain. I needed to get home now. 

I beat Harry to his car and pulled the handle. I waited for him to pull his keys out while walking out the door, I pulled once more and the panic alarm started blaring. Harry began cracking up. I looked up at him tears swelling in my eyes while he was bent over holding his stomach laughing his head off. I couldn't stop the tears that began streaming down my cheeks. I wasn't even crying about the alarm. I am just so on edge about the memories and how Harry suddenly knows so much about me. 

Harry looked up at me just as I dropped my head to wipe my tears that were still coming. My brain was swimming with all the times that I felt this small due to my family. I heard fast foot steps coming towards me. I didn't want to look up. "I'm sorry I didn't know you would cry about it I thought it would just be funny. I'm sorry Ryan." I shook my head. "I'm not crying about the car." I heard the car doors unlock, Harry grabbed the handle and pulled it open. "Get in." I listened and stepped in the car. I watched Harry run his hands through his hair then pull slightly while walking around the front of the car. He pulled his door open and sat. He didn't put the keys in the ignition.  

Harry sighed, "I know your last name because I went through a journal I found in your room while you were changing last night." I looked at him. "You what?". He went through my stuff? What an ass, I can't believe him! "Harry, you went through my stuff?" "Is that not what I just said?" he snapped back. He was facing straight forward, his hands gripping the steering wheel. "I can't believe you." I mumbled. The car seemed to be becoming smaller. "It's just your last name Ryan, I don't understand what the big deal is." Why is he snapping at me? He's the one who went through my stuff. My journal. My drawers. I'm pissed. "Sorry I'm a little pissed that you went through my stuff in my dorm room in my drawers and in my journal." I snapped back. "Ryan it's just a name." "No Harry, it's not just a name. It's my name. It's my past. It's my scars and what I was, what I used to be because of my shitty family. Do not tell me it is just a fucking name. You don't know me Harry. You don't get to say it's just a name." I opened the car door and slammed it. I began running, sprinting towards the dorms. 

"Ryan!" I heard Harry calling after me but that wasn't stopping me. I was running just like I used to. Away from everything.. I heard Harry's car staring up but I wasn't looking back. I kept running. I was pushing myself as hard as possible. I ducked into an alley and kept going. I realized I had made it to the front office building, I spotted my building and ran as hard as I could. I reached the stairs and was taking them three at a time which is very impressive for my 5'3" figure. I got to my door unlocked it and ran inside. Jess shot up when I ran in. "Ryan? Are you okay?" I ignored her question and locked the door. I then took my time to catch my breath. "Ryan what's wrong?". I plopped on the bed. Jess was still looking at me. I broke down. I began sobbing, I couldn't stop. Jess came and sat by me, she wrapped her arms around my shoulders. I leaned my head on her petite shoulder. 

I couldn't stop crying, the tears were just streaming. There was a jiggle at the door then a pounding. "Ryan let me in." Jess looked at me, I just shook my head. More pounding, "Ryan unlock the door, please." "Do you want me to let him in?" Jess looked worried. I shook my head and she nodded. She opened the door and closed it behind her. I only caught a glimps of Harry, he was looking through the small crack Jess allowed while walking out. His eyes caught mine and his face dropped. He looked hurt. 

I doubt he was hurt after all the shit he said to me in the car. I can't believe Harry. I hate him. 

"She doesn't want to see you." I heard Jess whisper. "Bullshit Jess, move, let me in." Harry boomed back. "Harry stop, leave her alone. She's not a toy for you to fuck with like the other girls. Back off." I'm glad I had Jess. "Jess please, I fucked up." Harry lowered his voice, if I wasn't so out of it I would have sworn I heard his voice crack like he was crying. He wouldn't cry for me. He doesn't care. "Not tonight Harry, go home.". It was silent for a moment then I heard steps walking down the hall. Seconds after Jess opened the door, she looked at me with sad eyes. 

"Thank you." I said "Don't worry about it, are you okay?" she asked. "No, but I will be I just need some time." I dropped my head and began picking my fingers. "I'll leave you alone Ry, I'll just go crash at Niall's tonight. I hope Harry didn't hurt you. Call me if you need me, I'll give you my number." she grabbed my phone and entered her number. "Thanks Jess." "No problem Ry, get some rest." She gave me a small smile then walked out the door. As soon as the door shut tears came again but I wasn't sad. I was numb just like the old days. 

I thought I could get away from my past, turns out it follows me everywhere.