Perri And Amber

Chapter 1 Part 7

Jordan's P.O.V

I can't think.

Everything in my head is so messed up...it's all so f**king confusing.

Why is what happened to Pel being blamed on me?

Why is Ash taking out his rage on him?

Why is Mitch dating Lou?

And above all these questions...why the hell am I such a bloody idiot?

I was angry. I was really pissed. So I just walked up to Gina and slapped her.

And I hate myself for it. And I'm still angry...and I need to get the f**k out of here before Amber finds me.

I step onto the accelerator with my foot, driving down the road away from the hospital.

I don't even know why but tears come streaming down my face.

I don't think Pel understands how much I care about him. I always make sure he's alright, I keep all his secrets, I tell lies for him-

I tell him who to love and who to stay away from.

And sometimes I'm not always right. I'll happily admit that.

And this time I should have just told Amber what was going on...I'm only digging him into a massive hole.

It's still pitch black outside, and I can't describe myself as any other word but knackered.

I just need to get into bed. Shut down. Forget the world before Mum or someone else calls to scream at me through the phone.

I finally arrive home. I'm desperately hoping to myself that Ni will be fast asleep.

But then I unlock the front door and all the lights are on and I know she isn't.

Feeling ashamed and disgusted at myself, I kick off my shoes and quickly hang my jacket.

"Jord?..." Ni's voice calls.

"It's me babe..." I call back.

I walk into the living room and she's sitting on the sofa in front of the TV in her pyjamas.

When she sees me she sighs and then turns it off.

"Babe..." She says, looking at me like I'm a victim. "It's so late."

"Ni, I know..." I say. "Did you not hear about Pel?"

"Yeah, I heard..." Ni says. "I was just worried about you because you weren't answering your phone."

"Sorry..." I say bluntly, collapsing on the chair next to her.

"Well?" She says, starting to look stressed.

"What?"

"Is Pel okay?"

"He's going to be alright, Ni..." I say, slightly annoyed.

"Okay..." Ni says. "Look Jord, I'm just going to be upfront with you-"

"Ni...I really don't-"

"Yes, you're amazing at what you do. You and the boys...you're all amazing. But you're forgetting that Jasen's only a few weeks old. I haven't slept in days."