I Do It For Avory

Chapter Six: Things Mother Doesn't Know

It just didn't make sense, you know? How he all of sudden decides now would be a good time to play father. Not to meniton he decided this after he put Mason in the hospital! I couldn't help but feel like he wasn't being serious but, at the same time, I felt like he was. But that was just my feelings talking because, believe it or not, I never got over Ethan and the fact that he wanted to get back in my life didn't help.

I was driving in the opposite direction of home, heading to Max Dale's. Ethan wasn't a priority right now. He would be if he decided he wanted to pay child support or help me towards buying diapers. But, no, I had to go get a job and make do by myself. And that's another thing! He wants back in but what happened to him in the years between? IThis wouldn't have mattered to me as much if Avory wasn't acting the way he was. Ever since he first saw Ethan, he'd stare off into space. To make things worse, he'd just learned to say, "Da!" I mean, I've said the word dad around him ever since he began to talk but he's never said that until after he saw Ethan. It makes me wonder whether babies have a sixth sense and can recognize people they've never met. Sounds weird but what other explanation was there? But then it hit me.

I reached for my purse in the passenger seat and dug through it to find my phone. I hit number two on speed dial (number one is the police) and held it up to my ear, steering with one hand. "Hello," dad answered the phone but he wouldn't know the answer to what I was going to ask him. He worked all twelve hours and day, three hundred-sixty five days a year. Mom was the one who I wanted to talk to because she didn't work. She stayed home all day.

"Dad! Let me speak to mom!"

"Is everything okay," concerned filled his voice. "Is Avory hurt? Are you hurt?"

"No dad. Just let me speak to mom okay?" The sound of the phone being put down meant that he went to go retrieve mom. I needed to know because, then, that could have changed my whole perspective. It would have meant that he tried a long time ago and he only got to ask me just now. Maybe I had the wrong image of him and hate clouded my mind. Maybe I just didn't want to forgive him, just to save myself.

"Sohpia," mom sounded worried. "What's wrong?" Why does everyone assume I'm hurt or something? "Is everything okay?"

"Tell me truthfully, mom. No matter what you can't lie to me." Mom didn't reply which meant that she was probably going to. But I needed to get the question out before I drove myself crazy about it. "Mom, did Ethan ever see Avory?"

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I got the job! So I should be happy right? I should be at my Uncle's picking up Avory and taking him home. I shouldn't be sitting in my car, in the parking lot, opening and closing my phone. I was thinking, though, and I couldn't put this off. It had just gotten more serious than I thought it would and I was beginning to question myself. Was I really doing the best for Avory? Do I really know what's best for him? I didn't know anymore. I just didn't know.

Ethan's number sat on my dashboard and, at moments, I would read for it but then stop. I didn't want him to come hear and see me in the wreck that I was. I didn't want to admit that I was wrong, sorry, and I didn't know what was best for Avory. All along, I was being selfish and I didn't try to listen to my mom who always told me to give Ethan a chance. There were times when we got into a fight because I thought she was siding with him. No, all along, she was trying to tell me that Ethan was trying.

Mom told me that the first time Ethan ever saw Avory was after I gave birth to him. I was fast asleep when he came rushing in. At first, mom was angry with him but then, she softened up. She said he cried when he saw me sleeping, all disheavled and nasty. She said he came over and sat by me, saying he was sorry. Sorry that he wasn't here to hold my hand, sorry that he wasn't here to watch me give birth (never thought a guy would want to). She said he was just sorry for everything.

And then, Avory cried. She said he was sitting there, stroking my cheek, when Avory cried, making him jump. At first, he didn't know if he could and looked to her for permission. Mom just waved a hand, saying he could, and he got up and walked over to the crib where the baby wrapped in blue cried. He looked to mom again and, this time, mom warmed up to him. She smiled and said, "Go on." and he picked up Avory. The moment Ethan's skin touched his, mom said, Avory stopped crying. Instead, he smiled as if he knew Ethan was his dad.

"Avory," mom said Ethan mumbled. "He looks like an Avory."

"He looks like you," mom told. And mom said that's when she knew he was determined. That's when she knew he was father material and that she could trust him. She even went out of her way to tell me that she thought of Avory just so Ethan would know that he named Avory. But it didn't stop there. No, mom said Ethan's dather dipped his head in the hospital room. He said that they had to go because Ethan had a basketball game. Mom told me Ethan nodded once but walked to me before going to his dad. She explained to me how she watched him brush my hair out of my face and kiss my cheek, the same cheek he kissed when we had talked earlier. "He turned to me," mom spoke calmly. "And told me he still loved you. He said, "I still love your daughter and I believe, now, I don't think there's another girl I could love more." Then he left.

But, there were days, when I was out, that he would come and se Avory. Mom told me how Ethan and Avory loved each other. Ethan would leave and Avory would cry himself to sleep. Mom never told me because i was at the point where I would get mad just at the sound of his name. I didn't want to hear anything about him.

And, because of my ignorance, I didn't know. I didn't know that he was actually there for us, he just didn't want to face me. And what hurt me the most was whenever mom went out to go buy Avory something, it was only because Ethan gave her momey and asked her to. I was accusing him of all these things and kept pushing him away when I didn't know. I didn't know that he was trying to be a father. But, worst of all, I didn't know that Avory knew who his father was.

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So? How was it? =D I'd like 2 kno if it wuz emotional enough ;) The next chapter is gonna be EXTRA emotional (I hope) lots and lots of crying =D