London Bridges

Chapter 2: Discouraged

Louis knew it would be difficult, but he hoped it wouldn't be damn near impossible. Its been almost a month, though, and he's been going out every day.  He's pretty sure he's dropped his CV at every establishment within a twenty block radius of his flat, anywhere from McDonalds to a dentist office.  The few places that did call for an interview never called a second time, and he's positive today's interview didn't go any better.  It starts out well enough, but then they point out the periods of time where he was unemployed, and it all seems to go down hill from there.

Louis sighs heavily upon entering his flat, letting the door slam shut behind him.  He kicks of his shoes, wearily making his way to the bedroom.  His tie is off by the time he gets there, and his shirt is quick to follow before he lets himself drop face first into the pillows.  Liam's not due back from class for another hour, so Louis plans to let himself wallow until then.  His head is pounding as he mentally calculates their bills and how long they'll be able to manage with him out of work.  He must've fallen asleep, because soon theres a warm pressure on his back.

"I'm home, Lou," Liam whispers in his ear from where he's straddling Loui's back like a koala.

Louis groans his acknowledgment, stretching as Liam rolls off of him to cuddle into his side.

"Rough day, love?" Liam asks gently when Louis finally opens his eyes. 

Louis means to put on a brave face, he means to say something optimistic about it only being a matter of time and not giving up.  Liam's eyes are so soft and sympathetic, though.  There's empathy, but not a speck of doubt.  Liam trusts him to take care of them now, as much as he did when they were making their plans, and Louis's lack of faith in his ability to do so suddenly becomes overwhelming.  Liam quickly pulls Louis into his chest when he sees the older lad's blue eyes well up with tears. 

"Its alright, Lou," he says.

Louis hiccups, his body trembling with the sobs he's trying to contain.  Liam runs his fingers through his hair, pulling gently at the ends, and Louis goes boneless.  He buries his face in Liam's neck and lets the tears come.

"I can't do this," Louis says between sobs.  "I'm fucking this all up."

"No you're not," Liam contradicts firmly.  "We anticipated this, remember? The job market is shit, thats why we saved up so much extra."

"It's not the job market thats the problem, Li."

"Well it's not you," Liam answers, his jaw stubbornly set.  "You're doing everything right, and I'm so proud of you."

Louis shakes his head, pulling back.  "We don't have much more of a budget left, if I don't find a job soon-."

"We'll dip into what I have saved up from Payne Industries."

Louis frowns.  "You said you didn't want to touch that."

"It is my money," Liam shrugs.  "I worked for it, my dad has nothing to do with it.  It'd be stupid to not consider it if we really need it."

Louis just shakes his head, slumping back into the pillows.  His head is flooded with thoughts of him being a failure, of him not being able to take care of Liam.

"The financial responsibility doesn't fall squarely on your shoulders, Lou," Liam says, already knowing the self-deprecating thoughts screaming in Louis's head.

"I'm not going to be sitting at home all day while you go to school and take care of all the finances.  I need to actually be worth something, Li."

"You're always worth everything," Liam says. "A job doesn't change that.  Besides, I'm not saying to stop looking, I'm just saying that if it takes longer than we expected, we still have some extra cash to get by on."

"You still have some extra cash," Louis grumbles.

Liam sighs, pulling Louis back into his chest and wrapping his arms around the smaller lad. 

"It's okay to be frustrated, I understand it completely, but don't be an arse," he says softly.  "What's mine is yours, Lou, get used to it."

Louis grumbles again, but settles into Liam, his hand going up to push the fringe out of the yawning man's brown eyes.

"Can we go back to sleep?" Liam asks.  "With school and the interviews, its been forever since I've woken up with you in my arms.  I miss it, I miss you."

"Yeah," Louis says.  "Go ahead and have a nap, I'll stay with you."

"You sleep too," Liam insists.  "You're exhausted, I can see it in your eyes."

"Theres too much going on in my head-."

Liam cuts him off with a kiss.  It's slow and deep, Louis tasting every plane of Liam's mouth, feeling every swipe of his tongue against his own.  A soft moan escapes the back of Louis's throat as the noises in his head go quiet.

"Alright," he says, settling into Liam's chest when Liam pulls away.  "Lets take a nap, Batman."   

Its late in the evening when a grumbling stomach wakes Louis.  When his eyes flutter open, Liam is staring down at him, one hand propping his head up while the other traces the tattoos across Louis's chest.  The scene is reminiscent of one they had at the start of it all, and it brings a smile to Louis's face.  He entangles his fingers with Liam's, bringing the lad's hand up to his lips and placing a gentle kiss across the knuckles.

"You didn't have to stay if you were hungry," he says, sleep still lacing his voice.

"I wanted to," Liam grins.  "But now that you're up."

Louis laughs, rolling out of bed.  He's still in his dressy trousers, so he quickly changes them for some joggers, noticing how Liam lingers in bed to watch. 

"Quit staring, Batman," he chastises playfully.

"I'm working up an appetite," Liam answers, a display of cheekiness he reserves exclusively for Louis.

Louis just hums contently in response, heading towards the kitchen and having no doubt that Liam will follow.  Louis gets the kettle going before climbing up onto the kitchen counter, not even bothering to attempt making food.  Liam comes in seconds later, settling himself between Louis's legs and kissing him passionately.

"What do you wanna eat, Li?" Louis chuckles softly, breaking the kiss when Liam's stomach roars loudly again.

"I could think of a few things," Liam says with a smirk, his voice low and deep in Louis's ear.

Louis is almost dizzy with how quickly his blood shoots down to his pants, but then the whistle of the forgotten kettle has him jumping half a foot into the air.  Louis pouts at Liam's hysterical giggle, but the infectious laughter soon becomes impossible to resist and both men are reduced to chuckling messes.  When they finally calm down, Louis hops off the counter to finish making the tea and Liam makes them both a quick bowl of instant noodles.  They cuddle into the couch, turning on the tele just to have something playing in the background, and settle into their comfortable domesticity, knowing that the next day promises to be better.  After all, what really matters is that they're together.