London Bridges

Chapter 6: Breaking Point

"Li," Louis calls out from where he just shut the door on Karen.

He can see the man's entire body trembling, his chest heaving as he struggles for oxygen.

"I just-," Liam begins, trailing off when he can't get enough air into his lungs.

"Hey," Louis says gently, quickly making his way over to where Liam is still braced against the table.  "It's alright, you're alright."

"I-I need a minute," Liam pants, trying to move away.

"Alright, take whatever time you need," Louis says, squeezing himself between Liam and the table.  "But don't go off on your own."

"Louis, I need space," Liam tries again. 

Normally Louis would give Liam as much space as he needed.  He wouldn't hesitate to go for a walk, or take a long shower, because he knows what its like to want to be alone while surrounded by people.  They've been through these attacks before, though, and he knows what Liam needs is something to hold on to.  If he went off on his own he'd slip further into his panic, further into his head, dwelling on whatever it was putting that unbearable pressure on his chest.

"No," Louis says, soft, calm, final.

He pushes himself onto the table, pulling Liam between his legs and wrapping around him.

"Lou, please," Liam begs, pulling at his shirt collar as if it was choking him. 

"No," he repeats.

Louis grabs Liam's hands, tugging them away from where they're scratching Liam's neck.  He pulls Liam's shirt over his head, his heart twitching in pain as he hears a choked sob escape Liam's throat.  His own shirt quickly follows, and then they're skin to skin and Liam is collapsing into his chest, gasping for that warm, citrus tinted air that clears his throat and finally expands his lungs. 

Louis doesn't say anything, just focuses on keeping his own heart beating steady so Liam can slow his down to match.  He stays quiet, breathing deeply, feeling Liam's own breaths gradually start to deepen against his chest.  He holds his tongue, swallows the acid thats desperate to drip off it as Liam clings just as desperately to him, and he lets go of the anger building inside.  Liam needs him, and he'll be damned before he makes this about himself and his feelings.

Eventually Liam stops shaking and his breath evens out, interrupted only by an occasional hiccup.  He feels okay again, but Louis's fingers tugging at the hair on the nape of his neck feels better so he doesn't try to move, despite the knot thats formed in his back as a result of him slumping into Louis's chest.  He must start to doze off, because the next thing he know's, Louis is carrying him back to their bed, once again displaying a hidden strength that astounds Liam.

Louis feels like his voice has disappeared from lack of use, but he still makes no effort to speak as he lies Liam down on their bed.  He does indulge in a chaste kiss, though, pressing against Liam's lips when the younger man makes a noise of protest at Louis untangling their limbs.  He goes to move away, intending to go pick up the shattered cup in the kitchen before one of them forgets about it and gets glass in their foot.  Liam grabs his hand as he's turning away though, and he gets caught in those pleading brown eyes, so he just pulls off his hat and nudges his boyfriend to scoot over. 

Thankfully, theres no middle aged woman screaming at them the next time they wake up.  Instead, Louis opens his eyes to Liam tracing patterns on his chest, an image he's been blessed to witness many times before. Louis takes the opportunity to study Liam, before the other boy realizes he's awake and schools his features into whatever he thinks Louis wants to see.  He looks tired, making Louis wonder how long Liam's actually been awake, reluctant to move out of his hold.  Whats worse, though, is that Louis could see something that looks devastatingly close to defeat and shame in Liam's eyes.