Court House Babe

A Crash? Go Back to Sleep

    February 27th, my brothers birthday. I bet it was a great birthday this year. Not. My mom got in a car accident in the afternoon. Although it wasn't her fault (for once) it still happened. No she isn't dead, she was lucky and only ended up with a broken leg. She was heading to my grandparents for dinner around 6 or 7. She was heading east on Louisiana turning onto Wyoming. She looked over her shoulder to move over. When she looked back a truck cut her off. She saw the tail lights and hit the break but there wasn't enough space and rear ended the truck. 

    My brother called me at 1:03am to tell me. He took his sweet time to say that she was okay after saying she was in the accident. I feel guilty. After he told me she was in the accident, I didn't feel any strong emotion like someone normally would. I asked if she was alive or dead. After he told me she was okay and that she only had a broken leg and some bruises, I still didn't really feel anything. When the conversation was over I just went back to bed like nothing happened. 

    Granted I do feel some relief that she's okay, I still to this moment, don't feel any strong emotion towards the news. My brother sent me a text saying that after the morphine wore off he asked her how she felt. She told him that she was scared because she could see it all happening, the dash crushing into her leg, the airbags deploying, the truck bed getting closer and the fact that she couldn't stop it. I know I would be scared in if I were in that situation and I do feel bad for her for being in that spot. 

    I feel guilty because she is my mom and the most I felt for the situation was sorry for her, some relief that she's okay, and a whole crap ton of guilt because I don't feel anything more. I feel more emotion for my brother because for his birthday he had to find out my mom was in an accident. Great birthday right? I love my mom but I just have to think, why is there such a lack of emotion?