LETTERS → BHZ | FIN

29: flashback.

Simons pov.

I stand outside the door, my body shaking. I can't help but think of all the terrible things that I'd said to him before and how my words really did hurt him.

I bang on the door.

No response.

"Ethan," I cry, "Ethan, let me in."

I bang on the door again.

Nothing.

I press my back against the door, sliding down the blurry glass as I land on my bottom. I curl into a ball and bow my head into my chest, crying uncontrollably. This was all my fault, and as much as I'd like to blame josh after what he did, this really was something only I could take the blame for.

I dab my cheeks dry with the sleeves of my sweater, sniffing as I whisper.

"I know I hurt you. I know you're scared. But so am I. It isn't a bad thing to ask for help, Ethan. Just let me in, we can talk. I'll hold you like I always do and we can talk for hours and get this sorted. Please."

Everything is still and quiet. Nothing moves, nothing changes. The clocks ticking echoing around the room reminds me that, yes, I am alive and, yes, this is actually happening. I am here, in this moment, a moment i'd never want to be in.

I wait a few minutes before standing up, running my fingers through my hair. I sigh heavily, rubbing my eyes once more as I kick the door a few times.

Why isn't he answering?
I thought I'd have heard him laugh by now.

I kick the door a few more times as the thoughts circle my mind. I feel the anger building inside of me as I answer my own questions, thinking of every single thing that could possibly go wrong.