Silent Angel (BoyxBoy)

chapter 4: Day at school

The clouds in the sky grouped together thickly, threatening to rain on the school below. The teens on the ground huddled together in their own groups; talking, laughing.

There was John Dermanis, sitting on the bench and making some joke to the many admirers of his. As he reached the punch line, everyone doubled up with laughter. John was smiling his irresistible grin. Then he changed. He glanced around the school yard and sighed sadly.

Safe inside the library, I watched him through the window. As the boy looked around, I ducked, hiding behind a book on knitting which was upside down. I didn't want him to see me; I didn't want anything to with him... Yet...

"Why can't I get him out of my head?"

I thought grumpily, lowering the book and resting my head in my hands. I massaged my temple, trying not to think about him more.

To distract myself, I thought about the up-and-coming English assignment: speeches. Usually I would write the speech out and have it marked by the teacher and that was fine. But this year was different; the speeches were being marked on presentation. I had to choose to fail or get someone else to do it for me. This worried me because I didn't think I could trust someone else to do it right, but I didn't want to fail either. Worrying about this took my mind off John so effectively that when he walked into the library, I didn't even hide. Walking straight to me, He asked me.

"Why didn't you come hang out with me? I was waiting for you."

I didn't reply, my mind working like clockwork, trying to think of something to write. I didn't want to hang out with the teen because he played games with me; confusing, unfair games. Then again, I didn't want to hurt his feelings. I grimaced at John, my head was beginning to hurt.

"Is this because of last night?"

I looked away, not wanting to look John in the eye. He knew that I liked the kiss. I loved it... I loved him deeply... I just didn't like how he treated me. I felt tears heating the corner of ùy eyes as I became frustrated.

"Look, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have led you on like that, and then just leave. I was scared and nervous, OK?"

He knelt in front of me and put his hands on my lap.

"I'm really sorry. Let's start again, OK?"

I glanced at him to see that he was close to tears as well. I smiled and nodded slowly.

"We'll go out. To dinner."

I felt excitement build up inside. I wrote on a spare bit of paper:

"You mean, like a date?!"

John chuckled and nodded, smiling his irresistible smile.

"I knew you'd like that!" He laughed, ruffling his hair.

"So... You're gay?"

I wrote, my heart beating in my throat. John grimaced, glancing around the room. He took the paper and screwed it up, throwing it into the bin.

Answering my questioning stare, John whispered quickly.

"I don't know... I like you... But..." He flushed and dodged glances around the room again.

I felt hurt, but I understood. John didn't want people to think that he was gay. If that happened, he'd lose his popularity, his friends and respect. Even though this was very selfish of him, I smiled.

"He said he likes me! I can't believe this is happening to me of all people... I'm so happy."

"So where are we going for dinner? Do I need money? When? What time? How will I get there?"

I wrote messily on another bit of paper. John was laughing as he deciphered the writing.

"Um... How about after school at 7? We'll go to the smorgasbord down Berry Alley... They've got some nice food there, and it's a reasonable price for students. You don't need money, I asked you out, and so I'll pay for you as well. And I'll pick you up in my car."

John answered as the bell rung, signaling the end of lunch.

I smiled in agreement, nodding while trying to remember everything he had just said.

"He's paying for me! And he has a car! He's picking me up and dropping me back home! He must really like me!"

"All good? Good. I've got to go; I've got a biology test now."

John said, picking up his bag and rushing off, stopping to wave merrily at me.