Try

Everything Becomes Real

Connie strutted through the department in her heels as though she owned the whole place. She raised an eyebrow towards Cal when she noticed him standing about doing nothing.

"Don't mind me Dr Knight, it's not like I'm your boss or anything."  Cal headed into cubicles as Connie pulled her phone out of her pocket. As she did someone's arm slipped around her waist pulling her into their side.

Jacob smirked as he walked forwards with Connie. "Sweet cheeks-" "It's Mrs Beauchamp."  Jacob was the one to raise an eyebrow this time as he looked down at Connie. "Well I am sorry your highness."  She elbowed him in the side as she warmed to him slightly.

"What did you want?" "To tell you I love you."  They stopped beside the nurses' station, Connie turning to look up at him properly. A small smile played at her lips as he rest against the desk picking up some folders.

"How are you feeling today?" "Oh you know, wanting to throw up every 5 minutes is the highlight of my day."  Jacob looked up from the files. "You shouldn't be work-" "I am perfectly capable Staff Nurse Masters and on that note I'll be right back."

Jacob watched as Connie walked off, rather quickly, towards the toilets. He closed his eyes shaking his head before going towards the staffroom and getting a glass of water.

Connie stayed for a few minutes before leaving the cubicle and smoothing down her blouse. She cleaned herself up and wandered back into the department to see a glass of water being held out to her from the entrance to the staffroom.

She looked towards Jacob who was smiling contently at her. "As you were saying Queen B-" "I'm perfectly fine to work, okay? I'm still standing aren't I!?"  Jacob supposed he was thankful that she was.

He let her walk into department again while he watched her from the staffroom. Connie stopped at the nurses' station with a smile towards Charlie. "How is the little one?"  She smiled quickly while picking up a folder. "Fine. How's reception looking?"  Charlie frowned as she avoided talking about it for very long.

"Receptions empty, everyone's in cubicles already... Connie are you sure everything's alright? If somethings happened, or you need to talk about something."  Connie stopped momentarily but it was enough for Charlie to see something was bothering her.

Connie glanced back and noticed Jacob had gone into cubicles. She closed her eyes briefly before feeling Charlie's hand rest on top of hers. "Come on..." He nodded his head towards her office and began to walk towards it checking she was following him.

Connie walked in and remained facing the wall while Charlie sat down. "I know you just remember, so tell me what's bothering you."  Connie swallowed before sitting down on the edge of the sofa. "I'm not sure..."

"Do you not feel the same way about Jacob-" "God yes, I can't lose him Charlie."  He smiled quickly reassured that nothing had happened between them. "What do you not want this baby?" "No. Yes. I don't know anymore."

Charlie watched the tears spring to her eyes as she sat further back on the sofa. It was like he watched her begin to draw into herself. "When I found out I couldn't have been happier, I knew Jacob had wanted a baby... But I don't if I want a baby anymore.  What if I have it and I can't love it because it's not what I want?"

A few stray tears rolled down her cheek as Charlie could do nothing but watch her. "Grace is happy... Jacob's happy... You're happy, what's so wrong with me? Why can't I be happy about it?"  He rested a hand on her leg as he offered a warm smile. "It doesn't mean that there's something wrong with you Connie you should know that."

She scoffed as she stood up from the sofa. "I've got a lot of paperwork I should get on with-" "Don't shut us out Connie."  Charlie was standing opposite her as she walked round the desk and looked towards him. "I think you should get back to work..."

Connie turned to look away while Charlie remained where he was. "Look sometimes you can't fix things Charlie and I'm one of those things! This baby isn't making me happy and you can't fix that!"  When she looked to Charlie she realised that the door had opened and Jacob was standing slightly behind him.

Charlie watched as all colour drained from her cheeks. He had never seen her look so empty, so emotionless before. "Connie-" "I JUST WANT YOU TO GET BACK TO WORK CHARLIE!" Jacob looked on as Connie turned away from them once again, a hand raised to her mouth.

Jacob didn't move his eyes from her. "Be gentle with her."  Charlie spoke quietly as he passed on his way out. "Connie?"  When she didn't answer he walked closer to her desk until he could see the tears streaming down her cheeks.

"Come here."  She let him pull her into his chest as her arms went around him. Connie cried into his shoulder as she tried working everything out in her head. "Talk to me, please..." 

Jacob waited patiently. He didn't want to push her. "I don't know where to start-" "How about with us... Are you still happy?"  Connie nodded as she pulled away from his chest. "I love you  and I can't lose you."

A small smile crossed his face before he spoke again. "And being back at work?" Connie laughed a little with a nod. "It's good to be in control of something again."  Jacob nodded before lacing his fingers through hers. "And the baby?"  He watched as she tried to withdraw but he just held onto her hand taking her other in his.

"I- I don't know what to say to you... I know what you want to hear but I don't know if I can say it."  Jacob nodded. "So tell me what YOU want to say, not what you think I want."  Connie seemed to take a deep breath and think about it.

"When I found out I was pregnant I couldn't have been happier. I've never wanted anything more than a family with someone who loves me..."  Jacob hated how it sounded as though there was more to this but he couldn't show it.

"So what are you not sure about? Connie, I love you and you love me. We have Grace and we're having a baby... That's a family so what's-" "I only ever saw myself having a family with Sam! Okay? I said it."

Jacob stood quietly as he watched her. "Sam's the only person I ever dreamed about having all of this with and I'm struggling okay. I'm still struggling to see how everything I had with him broke down... This isn't something that's going to change over night because a part of me still loves him and I hate to say it but it's true."

Connie had stopped crying but she began to see the effect of her words on Jacob. "I want to be happy with you, trust me Jacob I do. But getting back here, thinking about this baby it's just hard to change how I saw this happening."  Jacob nodded before turning and wandering towards the door. 

"Jacob?" "I'm just going for some air. You want some space and I'll give you that, I sure as hell need it right now-" "Jac- I'm sorry..." She watched as he walked away and out of the ED. She could have just ruined everything they'd worked so hard for in the blink of an eye.