Missing || yoonmin

Chapter 43

Yoongi's P.O.V

The words I could never forget hit me and it felt like someone took aim and shot right at my heart. My lungs were drowning and my mind was going in circles, repeating the words he spoke to me over and over as I processed them through my brain.

If this was all a dream, it was a sick one and I wanted no part of it. To think that life could be so cruel as to take away all the people I hold dear to me.

My parents, physically gone.

Yerin, completely gone.

Jimin, soon to join Yerin.

To think that once I believe I can finally be fully happy again with the one I love was a foolish idea in the first place.

Why now? Why did this have to happen to me? What did I do? Why Park Jimin? Why did I have to officially meet Park Jimin?

You know why? Because life likes to fuck you up.

It does it on purpose, it's like a little game. Except, in this game you can't quit without saving and start over, no. Everything is official, and what's been done has been permanently done. No do overs, no quitting.

And in this specific game of life I'm playing, I'm going down the shitty route. The route that likes to pick at everything you care about, the route that likes to make you feel stupid and unwanted and worthless and hopeless.

Oh and that's another shitty thing this game likes to do. Give you hope.

Hope seems like such a wonderful thing, it really does.

But with hope comes despair.

Hope sets you up for it, there's no escaping it. Hope is a life wrecker. With hope only comes regret and sadness because not everything you hope for will happen.

But of course, people are beguiled into thinking everything they hope for will happen. Little do they know that the game of life has already decided for them.

The game of life must have something against me, as I did not know what the fuck I did wrong, what did I do to deserve this?

And taking into account this shitty route I'm strolling and parading down with intense speed, I realize that Jimin is right there keeping up next to me. We're on this route together, living the lowest of the low, the unfairest of lives.

Whoever created this game is an inconsiderate and biased prick.

My heart was shattering into a million pieces.

Jimin wasn't going to wake up. Jimin was going to die. The person I've come to love, the person I've spent everyday with for the past couple months to just be gone in a matter of days, weeks, months, years, who knows. But to know for a fact that he would for sure be gone before I could enjoy every ounce of time together with him to the fullest really hurt. I  wouldn't accept it at first but I realized just moments afterwards that I had no choice but to face the reality of it all, no matter how shitty the truth may be.

And so I replaced the sadness with anger and spoke harshly towards the one that I love. My tone of voice was coaxed with pain and rage.

I didn't even have time to think properly as Jimin began falling in and out of consciousness. I was still trying to get myself together. I couldn't really do anything since I couldn't touch him and it was extremely frustrating to me.

Jimin was having a panic attack and it was all my fault.

There goes life again, treating me like absolute garbage.

I shouldn't have reacted the way that I did, but then again, what other way could I have reacted?

There was no way in hell I could've stayed calm.

Happy, are you kidding me?

I was not going to burst out into tears.

Fury seemed like a good way to go.

I'm usually more reserved, I didn't know where the outburst had come from but I guess when you love someone, new sides of you are introduced to the world.

At the moment of Jimin's panic attack though, I had to push away all my thoughts and anger and depression to the side in order to calm Jimin down, only able to use words, yet I found myself still reaching out for him only to meet more air.

"Jimin, it's okay, just breathe, hey, look at me!"

Repeating similar constructions, I watched for any changes.

When he finally looked at me after a couple of instances, I could see the rise and fall of his chest slowing down and I continued to say the reassuring phrases. His panicking was causing me to panic a bit as well. I hoped I would be able to help him regain composure.

"Stay awake, don't give in to the dark splotches. Focus on me." He gave no sign of response as he just stared blankly into my eyes. I could only imagine what he was feeling right now. I probably overwhelmed him, I've never spoken to him that way in that tone of voice.

"Jimin!" I reached for his shoulders to see if I'd go through him and found out that I could in fact touch him again. Sighing in relief, I quickly pulled him in for a hug and kissed the top of his head. "I'm here, no need to panic, it's alright."

I felt him tense up at my touch before his body began to relax. I stayed loosely holding him close to me.

"Yoongi." He whispered weakly and I pulled away to take a peek at him.

"Are you okay now?" I questioned him worriedly, placing my hand against his cheek.

"Are you?"

"No." I answered honestly.

"Me neither. I don't want you to say it either..." Jimin mumbled and I smiled feebly, looking away from him and to the water of the lake.

"I won't." I promised.

I would keep Jimin for as long as possible. I would find a way to wake him up without killing him. I wouldn't let him die.

I wouldn't let the shitty game of life take him from me.

________________________

;-; Yoongi pls

*screams* thanks for 6k reads and 1k votes omf I'm literally so happy~ I really appreciate you guys, seriously never would have thought anyone would read this crap