Missing || yoonmin

Chapter 49

Neither of us wanted to get up the next morning.

Still too exhausted, on my half. Jimin on the other hand was just sore and his own words, "felt like death."

"I'm sorry Jiminie~" I kissed the top of his head. I knew it was his first time, and yet I still don't think I was gentle enough with him.

"You don't have to apologize Yoongi." He sighed. "I'm alright." He paused. "You were alright."

"Alright? That's it?" I teased.

"Shhhh."

"I honestly think I deserve more than 'alright', I mean, where is your voice?"

"Shut up." He hit me, his voice cracking. He was really flustered and cute.

We both stayed quiet for a couple minutes before another thought hit my head.

"Jimin."

"Hm?"

"Jimin I just noticed." I laughed.

"What?" He huffed.

"What would it look like to other people?" I laughed, thinking about last night and what would've happened if anyone were to walk in.

"Huh?"

"Like, would I just be having sex with the air?"

"Oh my god." He blushed and covered his face with his hands.

"No seriously, imagine it– how would you react? I would think that I'm crazy."

"I don't want to, so embarrassing."

"I'd like to thank my parents for never being home–"

"Stop it!" He hit me again.

"Ow, so mean to me. Let's go take a shower?" I suggested.

"Together?!" His eyes widened.

"I've already seen all of you Jimin."

"I don't– but still, I just..."

"If you really don't want to then you don't have to."

"I'll shower first." He said sitting up for a brief moment before lying back down.

I gave him a questionable look.

"I can't." He says shaking his head.

"What?"

"It hurts."

I bit down on my lip to keep myself from laughing. I felt somewhat proud.

"Well, you gotta get there somehow. Try walking." I moved over on the bed so that he could get off. He sat up at the side of the bed, wincing, before standing up.

"See, you're standing. You're fine."

I spoke too soon, because as soon as he started walking he stumbled and held onto my desk chair for support.

"What is wrong with me?"

"Yeah, you'll need help whether you like it or not." I stood up from my bed, walking to him and picking him up. He gasped. "We don't have to shower together but let me hold your hand on the side of the shower curtain or something.

-----

After that, days seemed to fly by.

It felt like we were on cloud nine. Everything was perfect when we were together.

Christmas, New Years, endless snowball fights and eventually Yerin's death anniversary.

On that day my parents and I along with Jimin all went to visit her grave. We didn't stay long, as we didn't want to dwell on the memories. My parents didn't speak much to me, just gave me a certain look. The same look they gave me the day she died.

The look of grief and despair, like they just lost their entire world.

I didn't cry. I tried my best to smile. And with Jimin by my side, that was easy. He tried his best to keep my spirits up and not down in the gutters.

I was extremely grateful to have him.

School was rough for Jimin. I could tell he really missed his friends. I asked him if he wanted me to tell them about him, but he quickly said no. He'd rather them not know a thing.

I talked to Taehyung and Jungkook about what they thought about Jimin's hospital situation.

They said they were neither hopeful nor doubtful, they just wished for the best. They prepared themselves for either outcome.

I asked his parents and they said the same.

I visited the hospital to see Jimin often, just to check up. I wanted to know if there was any chance of him possibly surviving.

I asked the doctors what they thought, and they weren't too sure.

With every passing day, my cheerful Jimin just wasn't as cheerful. He wouldn't tell me what was on his mind. Even when I begged for him to do so.

It hurt that he was hiding his emotions from me. He always put up a smile, but I just knew something wasn't right.

Valentine's Day.

We went out to the movies on a date. I made sure to sit in the back row with him. The theater was almost empty. It felt nice to actually be able to go out and do something with him. Plus, I only had to pay for one ticket.

My birthday.

Jimin returned the favor of making me a cake. Instead of drawing something, Jimin sang me a song. We ordered pizza and just cuddled in bed. I wished we could stay like that forever.

But not all forever's last forever.

I always could tell when Jimin was avoiding something. He seemed so gloomy. We went through it before, when he wouldn't tell me what was going on with the whole poison and me loving him thing.

I started to think that maybe he was upset because I wasn't saying I love you back to him whenever he would say it. But I couldn't. Those words were toxic to my mouth now.

One day, Jimin didn't even want to look at me. That's where I drew the line. I wanted to know what was going on. It hurt me. It hurt me to see him act this way.

I didn't want him to be upset, I loved him. I wanted to know why, if I wasn't making him happy, if he was okay.

But I think that I regret forcing him to say what was wrong.

Because after that, I had to face reality and stop living in this whole dreamland where me and Jimin would be together for life, happily ever after.

It wasn't going to happen.

I wasn't ready. But Jimin was.

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Do u hear that it's me sobbing in the distance