LOVE ME ... J.B

four

marie argent

I slid out of the car after paying the driver,  I was stood outside the airport, torturing myself by watching families and friends laughing  and smiling together.
I've dreamed of this moment for a long ass time, but it was never supposed to happen like this.  It was supposed to be romantic, cute and goals as fuck.

Not. . . this.

It was a happy sight though, families around me were all reuniting  and could  be together once again. . . It's  so scary  to  think  Justin's inside there, breathing in the Californian air too.

I let go of the breathe I didn't even realise I was keeping in, I finally began walking towards  the airport entrance because  this is what I'd been waiting for so long. I should be over the moon yet I was terrified to see him again.

I knew my life for fact, my life would now change for certain. He is a huge impact to my life and always will be, for better or for worse.  I knew that much. . But what if it went back to how it once was? That would totally be everything I've ever wished for. A dream come true.

I walk past the fans and the paparazzi who were on the curbs, waiting and calling for me. I smile and wave before heading straight for the entrance to the building, it's protocol when you've got no time for pictures and you're wanting to rush in and out quickly.

I eventually stood waiting in the visitor/ pickup section for Justin.  I sat on an uncomfortable chair and pulled out my iPhone, I decided to check out my tumblr to keep my mind from melting.

I noticed many photos of tonight we're already trending. I saw photos of myself and Lucky dancing whilst others were with Kylie when we had arrived.  Damn, me and Kylie looked good together,  I must look  stupid  all dressed  up in an airport.

Whilst I was reading an article about Justin I heard suitcase wheels rolling against the ground, my head snapped up to the jets entrance.

I saw him. I finally saw my Justin in person. I didn't cry at first because my shock was so intense. All I could do was think about those times I thought of him and missed him.

"Princess.. It's me, I'm back"

I nod my head,  in total awe and disbelief. I was suddenly and, admittedly shockingly sporting a huge grin. I ran  into his arms  giving  him  the biggest  hug  I could muster, I had  waited  for this physical contact  for so long and cried over this.  It  was   killing   me and now I'm taking advantage of the moment.

And now that his hands have touched my skin I feel at home.  It felt so right.  It felt like this problem was  never ending, but here Justin was to make it better.

I looked into Justin's eyes, but they didn't seem as bright no more. He was hiding things from me I knew that much.

❝I'm a free fucking man princess, no Selena or contract to hold me down.❞
He said before going straight in for a kiss but I let go of him  before he could,  I smiled weakly with a small nod,  I wiped  away the  tears carefully  because  of my makeup  and pointed to the exit.  ❝We should get going.❞

Justin sighed before palming the back of his neck awkwardly, the fact I rejected him proved to him I wasn't a happy bunny with his circus act behaviour.

As we left there was a huge build—up in both fans and the paparazzi.  Everybody  was going absolutely crazy, mostly because the infamous best friends were once again reunited.
Heh, little do they know.

❝Aye Justin, what you two gon' do tonight?❞ A pap yelled, putting the camera straight into Justin's face. I groaned, continuing to walk on.
It seems Justin, who was rolling his suitcase beside me, noticed my unattractive groan. His jaw locked and he decided it was best choice to push the paparazzi back and away from me.
He hadn't changed.

But I had,  I wasn't the  same shy girl anymore and Justin didn't understand that.

❝Get out the fucking way bro.❞ Justin yelled, warning the guy to move, he continued to test Justin's patience.
I shook my head holding Justin's free arm before he did something stupid.
❝Justin! Calm it down.❞ I begged, wanting to get out of the cameras negative light now.

He  bit his  lip angrily  and we  walked  toward another  uber.  As we got  inside Justin sighed, looking drained and not himself.

❝Listen I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap, I'm just  stressing.❞ I nod my head  but  didn't respond,  what  could  I say?  It's  simple,  he isn't the same loveable person I fell in love with.

My Justin wouldn't sleep with five girls within one week. Every time he had a girl in his arms my heart took a stab.

We sat inside the uber, complete and utter silence filled the car until the guys turned on the radio, it played in the background. I wish last year never actually  happened and we were just forever happy and there were no issues we had to attempt to fix.

Nothing would have changed. I wouldn't feel like I've been torn into pieces.

Whilst Ellie Goulding's new song love me like you do began play I shivered at Justin's touch.

❝You're the only thing I want to touch, never knew this  could mean  so  much.❞ His  hand slowly yet skilfully reached and rested upon my thigh, gripping me ever so slightly.  I closed my eyes and breathed out, feeling weak at the contact I haven't had for ever so long.

I'm  my  own  worst  enemy  when  it comes  to Justin,  I always go against  what my head tells me to do.  I felt  so drunk  yet I was as sober as they come.

❝Every inch  of your skin  is a holy grail that I must find.❞ Justin's dominant yet gentle hand grazed further up my thigh until he reached my hands which were sat in my lap.  I was  fiddling with my thumbs again, trying to distract myself from the scene before me.

He slipped his hand into my own and the song stopped,  the beautiful moment was over.  And just to make things even more awkward, the next song was I Know What You Did Last Summer by Shawn Mendes.

Really bro?

Justin's hand was holding on tight to my thigh,  once he  realised  I tried  to lose  our  grip, he didn't want to lose the connection again.
My hands were sweating  and this  was making my heart race.

I wouldn't let him do this to me.  I needed to stick to my head  not my heart this time.  He's slept with girls and barely ever found the time to call me.  He was such  a cliché  rockstar and his  reputation was  disturbing.

That's not my Justin.  I don't know who the guy beside  me is. . . He  had  to earn  his  way  back into my  heart and  humble the fuck up because right  now,  the only  Justin in my heart was the guy  who'd left  for his  world   tour.

This wasn't him.

He leaned over to me, brushing my hair to the side and whispered into my ear,
"I swore to you I'm never leaving you lonely."

I shivered before turning my head  to look out the window. I didn't look away because if I did I'd  be  looking  straight at  Justin with those heart shaped eyes.

What have I done? I thought it would be easier than this.