Dear You

Dear Jerk

Dear You,

This is another difficult letter to write. Then again, all of them are. Thanks again for delivering these for me. Give these ones to that Jerk, the one who broke my heart. There's so much I could possibly say to him, and none of it's easy. All of it hurts more than I'd like to admit.

Dear Jerk,

What happened between us? Just like with my Adversary, things weren't always this way. You didn't always hate me. In fact, I think you liked me. A lot.

I liked you too.

We had three classes together, and you sat next to me during history. That happened because I am a ridiculous person who decided to shake things up, and sit where you and your friends always sat. We didn't have assigned seating, so our teacher just laughed when you complained. She didn't mind at all. But you did.

We started racing each other to history class, after lunch, to try to get to the desired seats first. You usually beat me, because it's hard to run in a pencil skirt. (Damn private school uniforms.) We finally compromised, and sat next to each other. That was fun.

You know how little boys throw things at their crush, or are mean to them, and that's how you can tell they like them? You checked both of those boxes. 

One day, you were throwing an orange to your friend across the room. I kept asking you to stop because I was in the line of fire; and sure enough that orange hit me right in the face. It wasn't technically your fault. Your friend hit me while trying to throw it back to you; but you're the one I asked to stop, so you're the one I held accountable.

I was so mad at you. But not really.

You brought an orange for lunch every week after that. You'd toss it a few times, just to make me mad. God, I hated that mischievous grin that paired so beautifully with those blue eyes. I was always a sucker for blue eyes.

One day you were cleaning out your bag, and set a lego on our desk. You told me I could have it.

"You know it's real when a guy gives you a lego."

I blushed a little, and tried to act like it was nothing as I put the lego into my backpack. Maybe that didn't mean anything for you. But it did for me. I still have that lego.

You used to draw stupid faces on my notes, and make sarcastic comments to me in class. You used to have candy hidden in your pencil case, and you'd share it with me. You used to slide notes back and forth to me after tests, and I would write you a reply. I still have one of those, too. I used to pretend I thought you were annoying; but everyone knew I didn't really think so.

Dear Jerk, that is why you have claimed such a title: because you weren't always. You hurt me in the worst way, because you didn't always hate me; and I didn't always hate you. What happened to that? Maybe I'll have it figured out in my next letter.

Ever nostalgic, -Me